It's been a little while since I posted. As of my last update, my case had not yet been submitted. Well it was submitted on September 29th and I received the best call ever on October 1st. It barely took a day to get my approval! How awesome is that?!?! I was given the choice to move up my surgery date, but the only date available was my daughter's birthday. I was afraid that might happen...I just couldn't do this on her day, so I've kept my November 10th date.

I was so excited to get my approval call. I'm a little concerned now though, because I'm not really feeling much of anything at the moment. I know time is getting closer, but I'm not getting anxious like I expected. I've been a little lax about logging my meals, I haven't been increasing my steps like I should. Although I know I'm still dropping a little weight, I'm not as passionate about this as I was at first. I think I have become bored with it. It's not easy anymore, the new-ness is gone. I know I'm going to have the surgery and will make sure that I don't gain, but I want to be excited again. Is this fear trying to creep in on me? I don't feel scared or worried. I just don't feel anything. Twenty five days, while I know isn't that long, seems like an eternity right now. I am just ready for it to be here. I feel I'm merely existing until that day. My birthday is in 4 days and my daughter's is in 5. My 5th wedding anniversary is a week from today. None of this excites me right now. I don't even want to deal with them. As a matter of fact, I haven't dealt with them. I haven't done a single thing for my daughter's birthday. Haven't even thought of how to celebrate my wonderful husband for our anniversary. Everyone around me has been so excited for me and ask me about it all the time. I put on a face, and I am excited in that moment, but I miss the life-consuming excitement that I had at the beginning of my journey. Is it because I won? Is it because I know I've beaten all of the hurdles that I had to overcome? Maybe this is my form of fear - avoidance - of thinking of the even bigger hurdles that are yet to come. That may be it...