So, I survived my surgery Definitely not the easiest thing I've ever done, but I'm glad that part is behind me.

I checked into the hospital at 5am on 9/18 and discovered I was the first surgery of the day. During check-in, IV placement, introductions and vitals I found myself running the gamut of emotions. No, let's be honest - I was terrified and practically in tears. What was I about to do to myself? Why was I electively (though really, at 315lbs can it really be considered elective rather than a necessity) going to be put under anesthesia for 8+ hours, having most of my stomach cut out and my intestines rerouted? What kind of passion would I be in? What if I didn't wake up?

That last one was the scariest. The idea that I was choosing to go under and may never see Ray or my babies again made me want to get up and walk out. The thing is, I knew if I did that I'd be guaranteeing that one day, much too soon, I'd be doing that anyway. At least if I survived this internal slice and dice, I'd be extending the amount of time with those babies as long as possible. Not only world I be extending it, but I'd be making the quality of that time so much better.

These thoughts weren't quite so coherent Thursday morning, but I didn't get much time to dwell. Shortly after 7am, Kristen (my nurse) and Dr. Srikanth came in and sounded it was just about time. Then the anesthesiologist came in, slipped me a mickey and I was being wheeled to surgery. I remember being told they were putting an oxygen mask on my, that was just oxygen and then I remember waking up with my right arm hurting like I'd been stabbed.

That arm still hurts actually, but I guess having it squeezed continuously by the blood pressure cuff for 9 hours will do that. Yep ... 9 hours of surgery. Won't go into details mostly because a lot of it is still fuzzy for me, but there were adhesions, scar tissue, hernia and a really big liver to contend with. All I can say is thank god I was in such wonderful hands.

The first night was rough, especially with nurses coming in every time I got into a good sleep and wanting me to do things like drink or walk. The next morning wasn't much better but by the afternoon I was told I'd get to go home. The idea of leaving the IV and nurses was scary, but the thought of being comfy, in my own chair without people waking me up or bothering me was heavenly. The only catch was that I'd need to go to St. Francis the next morning for an xray, since my bowels were being lazy.

We got home about 7pm and I happily passed out in my chair for the most part. There were some rough patches, but the pain meds and constant sipping helped. Now, 48hrs after surgery I'm feeling a bit more human.

I've managed to drink close to 40oz of water, a few ounces of broth and a few sips of vitamin water. It's been 3hrs since my last dose of pain meds and I'm not ready to climb the walls in pain. I even managed a bit of time downstairs in the Livingston. Unfortunately the recliner is still the most comfortable spot for me.

I've got a long road ahead of me ... several weeks of liquids and soft foods before I'm eating normally again. Days of slowly working up to being able to walk any sort of distance. Months of learning how my new insides work, what they like and what they don't.

And lots and lots of pounds to lose along the way.