My only regreat is that I didn't do it sooner.

I had surgery 3 months ago on Friday. I can't say I was nervous, I was just so excited and I had done so much research and waited so long that i was just ready to cross that threshold!

Surgery went well although due to my VERY HIGH BMI a second surgeon was needed to assist. My surgery was performed using the Da Vinci machine, 5 little incisions.

I woke up a few hours later with awful dry mouth - SO THIRSTY, that was the worst of all. Pain I was expecting, but they kept me pretty drugged up. My friends had a real good time watching me make no sense at all.

Surgery was on Thursday morning and I went home Saturday mid day. My experience was fantastic. Sure I had pain, but you expect a certain level of discomfort. I think it took about 7 days before the bloatness (they pump you full of air) started to subside and the incisions healed up real nice, although the main incision (where they remove the stomach though) was the last to heal and certainly caused muscle pain in the area, which lasted a bit longer. But again, I was expecting pain, although was not only bearable, after two days at home I no longer needed any major pain meds, just aleve for the muscle pain. No nausea. I had no problem drinking my water quota - 64 oz a day, although it took concentrated effort and good timing!

I can say I was back at work on day 6 and by day 10 I was feeling like a pro - I sit behind a desk - so no efforts there, and driving within a week.

The hardest part was really the liquid diet. I was ready for some consistency and varied flavors..

My first week I was highly concerned with my protein intake and paranoid - I was online comparing myself to others - PLEASE DO NOT DO THAT - many doctors drill down no less than 60-80 grams of protein, but my surgeon/NUT were not that worried at all. I was only allowed one 4 oz serving of protein shake.

By week two I was over that and stuck by what my NUT/DOC said. I can't say I was entirely sold on only 3x 4oz meals a day, but I have been sticking to it!

I felt so good that there were times I wondered if the doctor really removed 2 thirds of my stomach.. But every meal I had reminded me that he had - 5 little bites and I was stuffed.

I did not stick to the foods progression plan after 3 weeks. I skipped the phase 2 blended food stages altogether. By week 3 I was adding soft, mushy fish, scrambled eggs and other soft proteins. Just a tiny amount and some definitely didn't work and came right back up.

I never lost the pleasure of eating, although I had little to no hunger. I got to enjoy foods I would not indulge on otherwise, now that I ate so little I could afford it - like expensive salmon and Shark, and I even had a filet mignon, but honestly I don't feel the same way about red meats. The last meat to introduce was chicken - that is sort of dry. But I enjoyed being able to eat my proteins.

I did not eat much in a way of carbs at all. I actually decided to go Paleo, not because I couldn't but because first priority is protein and when you only eat 12 oz of food a day, you better make sure you are eating the right foods.

I had my first glass of wine at 2 months out and I did NOT get tipsy or drunk, but I also took an hour with that one little glass of wine.

I rarely drink, as I think my liver deserves a break - it needs to break down all my fat! LOL

I have been seeing a counselor and attending a eating disorder support group, because I knew the honeymoon would not last forever and I needed to have the right support when I started to fall back into old mental habits. I have tried to be very proactive about this and see if from a 3 dimensional perspective. It's not just about the eating and the losing weight, it's about the emotional relationship with food and the fear of failure all of us, professional dieters feel. We failed so many times that we are just waiting for the other shoe to drop when things are going well - to which my counselor gently reminds me - BE MINDFUL. Eat mindfully. My counselor does rock!

My first melt down was actually yesterday ( be happy I didn't write yesterday) From surgery day - 3 months ago to today, I have lost 44 lbs, gone from a size 20/22 to a comfortable size 14, and lost a combined 20 inches. Naturally, that is not enough for me - I want to lose it ALL by tomorrow.. So when I completely fell off the NO SUGAR wagon and had a very small piece of the most amazing chocolate cake ever made by man - I went in panic mode. I had no control over that hormonal induced craving... That was the first time since surgery that I felt I was not in control. It was awful. Pre menstrual and very tired, all i wanted to do was eat sweets and salty snacks. Which I have not done since memorial day. I can't tell you how awful I felt and how much I cried. But remember I can only really fit 4-5 oz of food at the time, so even on my worst day, the weakest and unhealthy, I still lost .4 lbs... Thank you Banana!!! - (as I call my sleeve)

By this morning and after a good night sleep and a good cry, I woke up back to my new normal. Not starving, not craving the worst foods and not hating myself for being human. I got my power back (screw you hormones!)

The road to post surgery success is not a straight line. It can be confusing, and zig zag on you. (You WILL lose a lot of hair) It will be filled with plateaus and desappointment due to unrealistic expectations, and it will rock your world, because it doesn't change who you are at all. No surgery does that, although many people think that losing weight is the answer to all ailments - But it will be filled with empowerment and non surgery successes of all kinds, it will give you hope and lift you up!

I can wear bracelets and watches now - they fit loosely

I can wipe my own butt without being a contortionist (sorry but I was that big)

I can paint my toe nails and shave my legs again

I can fit behind the wheel with plenty of room to spare

I sleep much better

I no longer hide from cameras!

I am not hot all the time. My internal thermostat has adjusted itself

My cholesteral is under 200 for the first time in 20 years (163 actually)

I can see my colar bones

I have a waist! (who knew?)

I also have a knee, an ankle and you can actually see them.

I enjoy shopping again - my teen loves that!

And the list goes on and on..

So if you ask me what is my biggest regreat about having Gastric Sleeve surgery? it's that I didn't do it sooner.

If you have been through surgery, would love to hear about your experience.

And if you have not yet, I wish you the best of luck and much success on your journey!

Mindfully,

Karen