Last week I went for my first surgical consultation. I'm so impressed with the Dr & his staff. Everyone is so nice. They scheduled my appointment for my Upper GI, EKG & chest Xray, and they were done yesterday. My next appointments will be with the dietitian & exercise physiologist. I still have to set up a psych evaluation. So I'm moving right along...

Doc was very encouraging and talked through some of my concerns. He took the time to hear my story and he agreed with me - he too, believes that the sleeve would be the best option for me.

I had an "aha" moment...or actually, a weekend worth of it. We had friends in town to visit this past weekend. I knew there would be a good bit of alcohol involved in our visit. But I actually went completely off my wagon! My eating wasn't as awful as it could have been, but I wasn't following the plan. breads & potatoes were the biggest culprits. I even passed on ice cream...so I guess I wasn't so bad. But I certainly felt the difference. I gained 9 lbs from Friday morning to Sunday evening. Salty margaritas are my vice, so I'm sure most of that was water retention, but still - it made me feel horrible, physically & mentally. At the same time, I was able to recognize that I'm not going to be able to do this anymore. I don't need the alcohol in such mass quantities, I truly don't need the breads and potatoes - I would have been fine without them. I just have to work on finding better food choices when we're out and about. I'm back in the saddle again this week. And the water weight is dropping off already. I know I shouldn't be weighing myself everyday, but I have been & right now, I'm glad to see it going back down. Once I get back to where I was last week & see steady loss for a while, I'll stop weighing everyday.

I've also called my insurance company to verify coverage and prerequisites for my surgery. I shouldn't have any problems, but I'm afraid of one bit of red tape. I'm supposed to have 6 months of consecutive medical weight loss (failure) documentation. I think I should be OK because I did take phentermine for several months and this was all documented, of course. And since then, I've regained every bit of the weight lost on that program. My worry is that "consecutive" word. I'm not sure that I was in the office exactly every month. I will be going to see her again at the end of the month, so I'll find out then. I really don't want to have to drag this out for 6 months. I'm hoping that I will be approved based on the records we have already established. I would be devastated to have to wait so long. I'm ready now. I want so much to start feeling better. I hate feeling so tired all the time! I hate that my back hurts from carrying all of this weight all my life. I hate knowing that I have only a 10% chance of living until I'm 65. Really? So my life is more than half over right now! Unless I can lose this weight, I won't have a life. I'm merely existing from day to day right now. I don't feel like I live at all. Who knows if I'll make it another 6 months? With my family history and horrible health as it is, I am simply a walking time bomb.

I'm rambling...just some random thoughts that pop into my head.