So first the good news - as of t his morning I'm 14lbs down in 16 days. I had a slight regain at the end of the first week due to poor choices. I also think we were both treating it as a 'last supper' type of thing because the liquid diet was looming.

Still, if I can maintain this rate of loss I'll be at my goal weight by mid-August.

The bad news - the liquid phase is torture and I didn't do very well.

Between trying to choke down a protein shake that tastes like rotten monkey butt (though the cocoa powder helped a little) and feeling like absolute crap all last week, it was miserable. I know there's usually a certain level of 'detox' to be expected, but I'm doing this to get healthy - not to feel even worse than I normally do.

The challenges:

1 - the level of salt in most broths was triggering headaches. Due to my BP, I'm sensitive to salt and I guess not eating anything to balance it out increased that sensitivity. The ones that are low-sodium have absolutely no flavor and despite being hungry I had trouble forcing myself to drink them.

2 - I HATE SUCRALOSE. Seriously - I cannot stand the flavor. I don't understand how people can live on it and don't notice the flavor difference. I can take a taste of something and immediately tell you that it has sucralose by that nasty after-taste it leaves in my mouth. This means that these protein shakes, sugar-free jello, sugar-free pospicles are about as appetizing as eating dirt. I deal with it while drinking the protein shakes, but it pretty much eliminates the other 'free foods' I'm allowed.

The above challenges, combined with the nurse's failure to explain a few details about this portion of the diet, meant I was subsisting on 2-3 12oz protein shakes a day and maybe 1 cup of broth. Oh and my multivitamins and calcium of course.

So the hubby and I had a talk about it and have decided to make adjustments. Yes, I fully understand I won't have the freedom to do this after surgery, however I do now and am taking advantage of it. Plus, when the hubby had his consult with the (same) surgeon he was just told to lose the weight and the surgeon ultimately didn't care how.

So for week 2 of our 'liquid' phase, we've mad the following changes.

- Picked up 2 cases of the Premier protein shakes. The surgeon isn't a fan of these because of the protein degrading or something along those lines, but I can stomach these. I don't feel like I'm marching along death-row every time I have to drink one.

- We're picking up 1 container of Body Fortress protein powder from WalMart. I've heard that it tastes decent and I'm willing to try. I'm making sure it's a flavor other than chocolate.

- We're eating a sensible, protein-centric dinner. This has helped tremendously. The first night, after about 5-6oz of steak and a 1/2 cup of veggies sauteed in coconut oil I felt 100% better. My headache started going away, I didn't have the shakes, I didn't feel sick.

So far so good. I'm still losing. I feel human again. I can think clearly again. I can work and take care of my kids the way I have to every day and not want to just sleep.

If I notice that it's seriously stalling my weight-loss, I'll re-evaluate. Right now though, I've got to do what I've got to do to survive.

In other news, just 6 days until I go have my EGD and the majority of the other testing I have to get done. I'm looking forward to it, but I'm also nervous. It's been 16 years since I was under anestisia or in the hospital for anything other than child birth. I know I'll be fine - hubby was fine after his 3 years ago. I think it's normal to be a little apprehensive though.

I just keep reminding myself that it means I'm that much closer to being able to get a surgery date. I'll have 75% of my testing done that same day. Then I'll get the remaining 25% done the following Friday along with my cardiologist visit and the nutrition consult. I think it's then just a matter of waiting for insurance approval once the office gets all of the paperwork submitted. I think I'll feel a lot better about all of this (including the torturous liquid diet) once I have a date. Once I have a surgery date, then at least I know there's a light at the end of the tunnel. I can't say an 'end date', since I know I'll be back on the liquid diet after surgery, but at least I'll have a goal. I do much better when I have a goal or a countdown to use as reference. Then it doesn't feel like I could be doing this for weeks and for no reason (well, other than whatever weight I manage to lose) if I can't get approved for surgery.