My name is Roger, I am 45 years old, happily married with 4 young kids. I am starting to write this blog from a hotel room, where I'm waiting for my surgery on Monday. I am here alone, never told anyone around me as i know what their reaction could be.

I want to write about everything, my questions, my concerns, the background for my decision, my pre-op preparations, my cheats on the pre-op preparations, and everything else.

To start, my journey as started on the left foot. I was supposed to have my surgery last week with Dr. Aceves, who died tragically in a car accident. I got the news 4 days before my surgery - what do I do now, I said to myself. I selected Dr. Aceves after very careful consideration and months of mental preparation. The two weeks prior to the original date of the surgery were a nightmare. I couldn't sleep, eat or think. How could I cut a perfectly working organ voluntarily, I asked myself. What is I discover a few years down the road the I have made a terrible mistake? I couldn't come to terms with my decision, and bhaaammm, after all my thinking and endless self-debating, after convincing myself I'm doing the right thing...he died. What a mental turbulence that had cause me. worse than my own nightmares.

Why surgery?

I am successful in life, I have a great job, great wife, great kids, but I hated the way my body looks back at me from the mirror. I am tall, 6'4", but my belly was big. Over the years, I have tried every single diet on this planet...pills, liquid diet, starvation diet, prepared food, voodoo stuff and all the Atkins variations. nada - lose some gain some. I started just feeling heavy - no impact on health yet, but I knew this will come unless I lose weight. Just thinking about it, I gained 20 more pounds, peaking at 275 pounds.

This is it - no more. Two friends went with sleeve and one of them asked me that I simply need to choose - a sleeve surgery or heart bypass surgery - my call.

Questions questions questions

This is an elective surgery and to me...I had to be completely nuts to voluntarily cut my stomach. I had tons of questions - will I have normal life after this? Will I enjoy going out; will I be able to drink water fast enough when I run or play basketball, are there any major side effect...sorry for the bluntness but I heard of people who frat unexpectedly after the surgery. I asked and asked and asked on all wed sites, got the help of other sleevers, and heard their stories. the answer of most people was that yes...my life will absolutely change, but the change will be for the better...

How did I select my surgeon?

After months of research, I short listed three surgeons based on all the feedback I collected from sleevers. I am a new-age patient. I need to see YouTube videos and asses the skills of the surgeon. I could not make the decision based on word-to-mouth. I had to actually assess the skills myself. One Doctor for example demonstrated his technique and the liver always covered the stomach, he didn't lift it like the others, and half of the time I thought he is simply guessing where he makes the cuts of the stomach. That was a no-go. Right from the beginning I knew that Dr. Ortiz and Dr. Alvarez were two leading surgeons. I didn't go to Dr. Ortiz because his place was not a hospital, and initially I selected Dr. Aceves due to his superior success rates. But after his tragic accident, I had to quickly select a new surgeon. I went back to my original list, and added a few more, like Dr. Illan and two others - but I couldn't find any video of a live surgery. Dr. Alvarez however, made the best impression. He is articulate, knows the material, explains things very clearly and generally made the best impression. He knows his stuff.

Hotel alone...

Yes, I didn't tell my wife. She loses sleep over our cat's irregular bowel, i just can't think what would go inside her mind, if she knew I'm about to cut my stomach. I waited for her to go on a trip to her parents in Boston and went to a "business trip". I wish she was here....but I also know I made the right choice I actually haven’t told anyone. I don't need anyone getting into my belly - we have a huge social friend, and I do not want to become the talk of the neighborhood. I am doing this for myself, and want to do this journey alone. Don't get me wrong, my wife knows I am planning this, as I shared it with her, I just never shared the exact date. I will tell her when I am back, after it's all said and done.

Pre-Op Diet....arrr.

I am not a huge person. My BMI is 34. I couldn't get insurance approval, so I went with the self-pay option. The first Doctor (Dr. Aceves) told me that I do not need any pre-op diet. The second one, asked for a 5 day liquid diet. I had no problems doing it for three days, but I just had to have a food funeral and ordered today chicken wings. Good bye wings, good bye spicy food...perhaps I will meet you again in one year, but I am opting for something different for now. I will not tell my doctor that I cheated :-)

I am finishing my first entry of the blog here. I will continue to update.