Met with the PCP today to get my pre op labs done. I had no idea they were needing all of my blood!?! Some 12 vials of blood later and I'm still here, so I guess I'll be fine.

I guess this is a good time to mention about my surgery, I'd hinted about it in the first post but this seems a more likely place to include it.

Several years ago, maybe even more than a decade ago but I've slept since then so I may be way off, my daddy's sister, Sandy, had the Roux n Y surgery. It was new to all of us back then, I think to most people. I didn't live around her so I don't know exactly what she went through after surgery. I know she lost a bunch of weight, yo-yo'd a little after my grandmother died in 2002. It was after my granny's passing that two other of my dad's sisters had the same surgery and just a couple years ago my dad's brother. Then as if that wasn't enough, my uncle's son and his wife had WLS, I don't know if they all had the same one, I'm pretty sure they did. And finally, if you are still with me, my own father bit the WLS bullet June of 2013. He is doing fabulously well.

Can I be completely honest? I'm mad at them. I'm mad at them because we were a fat, jolly family that loved to eat and have a good time. And now it's all about getting smaller. I'm excited for my own transformation but I find I have a bit of anger towards them. If they hadn't gone through this I certainly never would have. I know they all did it for health reasons certainly not due to vanity. It's just different at family gatherings now. I'll see them all in October, some 4 months following my own surgery. I want to blow them away!! And I want to shed the anger I've held onto for so long.

When I heard about my dad going through with his VSG I had a few tears of grief. My daddy has always been a big fluffy guy. I couldn't fit my arms around him when I gave him a hug and that's just the way things were. I'm gonna see him in a just under 2 weeks for the first time since he had the surgery and although I've seen pictures, it's gonna be difficult to choke back the tears of missing that big guy that I'd always known. Now I'll have to get to know him as this skinny guy, a stranger really. I know I'm sure I'm being more dramatic about it than I need to be, but darn it it's frustrating.

Oh so back to me, I am scheduled to have the Duodenal Switch on July 8th in Dallas. I've been thinking about this seriously for a year, and started with docs and prep work in March. It's been a bit of a whirl wind, but that's better for me. Less time to stress about insignificant things.

I mentioned before that I have never been thin, I doubt I'm alone in that. I don't know if there is any way to really prepare myself for how I'm going to react emotionally to the change. I already think I'm beautiful. There are so many things I like about my physical self none of which will change with weight loss. My eyes and my hair are my favorite things. I understand I should expect some hair loss after surgery, but I already have Hashimoto's so I'm used to losing a bit of hair.

I'm looking forward to shopping in the normal sized clothing section, although to be honest I'm 5'10"... normal is not really achievable. I think I might start wearing dresses. The whole idea is exciting.

Well I think that's it for now, I'm exhausted from them draining me of all my blood. Can't wait to hear back from the lab about how many deficiencies I have and the steps to improve that I'll have to go through. Thanks again for reading!