Well, I am now eight weeks post op/revision. I must say, I physically feel better. But that is where the good news ends. I have managed to eat my way up 12 pounds and climbing. I have walked (3-4 miles) every day, worked out 3 days per week, journaled my in take and still gained. I am eating larger portions and yes, I am eating CRAP. I can't make myself stop. I went on the detox and did fine, then got down when the scale went up and had a cookie..It has been non-stop since then.

My naval still hurts and so does my mid-section. The doctor says I am just healing and to relax. Don't stress about the discomfort nor the weight gain. It will calm down and this is expected. Posh, Posh, Poo, Poo. The B-12 shots have my thighs bruised and I have had enough of those. Weight gain is weight gain is weight gain any way you want to look at it. I can't control myself and as much as I hate to admit it..I almost don't care at this point. My band is gone..there is no alternative on the horizon except "self-control" and we all know how well that works - that's why we had WLS in the first place. I have met with the NUT and a dietician..my GYN and my PCP...no luck, they all say, you look great, you can do this, just say NO...HAHA..They are skinny and haven't dealt with obesity their entire life. There is an evil gene inside me and it wants to be fed..the little sucker was alseep for 2 1/2 years - the band had choked the life out of it...but as soon as the band was gone - surprise - here it came again. I know I still have the plication but that is not the same...I need that tiny little pouch that sent the burping message to me to "put the fork down and walk away". I had a good relationship with my band - the slippage was not my fault - I want it back. The surgeon says I can't have it back because my stoma had formed scar tissue around the top and therefore it can't be put back. OK fine, I am intelligent, I understand...but what can I put in it's place????????????? How about "fat gene removal"???

As hard as I try to focus on something else..anything else..it call comes back to FOOD..For those of you reading this, you now think I am a "head case" and only a shrink will help me..well, maybe so, but in the mean time..I am snacking and munching my way back to being "chunky" all over again. I am still in contact with the doctor and I think he realizes that I am on a downward spiral...I hope he can help me out of this funk before I gain anymore poundage. I have little faith there.

Have a great weekend to all..I hope you don't mind that I had to vent..I had to vent somewhere and this blog seemed like the best place. One thing for sure...many of you understand where I am coming from..you have been there and have the T-shirt to prove it.

Melinda in Florida