Today is my one month surgiversary (sleeveaversary?) Since coming home I'm down from 306 to 274 lbs. That's 32lbs so far. My rings are loose, but I have been living with being a big girl 31 of my 37 years. People ask me if I look in the mirror and see myself being smaller and the answer is no. At least not yet anyhow. I wonder if I will ever not see a fat girl as I progress. Even back a decade ago when I lost that 70 lbs, I never saw myself as being smaller, even though I went from wearing a size 26 to an 18.

So what am I going to do today? Go to the gym of course. The LA Fitness is nice. It's brand new with big wooden lockers and equipment that works as it should, a sauna and a pool. Because of that it is always busy, and compared to my old gym, the people who go to this gym are much more fashion conscious about their gym attire. Dudebros at the old gym wore jorts and were okay wearing jorts. Most girls wore old t-shirts and yoga pants or capris. Or running shorts for the treadmill types The LA Fitness is very much high tech, moisture wicking, body con tank tops and capris. There is still an old tshirt and sweats crowd. The jorts crowd at my old gym apparently didn't all migrate to Planet Fitness (ugh). But still, I admit to feeling much more out of place. Hopefully as I get smaller and come in more often I won't feel so out of sorts.