Well, here goes nothin'. This is my first blog entry, I've honestly never written a blog before but I thought I would give it a shot. I have quite a bit to say and I feel safe saying everything here.

Let's start off with my weight loss journey and where my weight problems stemmed from.

I was always a yo yo'er. I would be thin, fat, thin, fat all my life. I was into sports then I would stop and balloon back up. In highschool I was a 18 and thought I was fat, little did I know, by the time I was 23, I would be nearly 400 lbs and a size 30 in jeans. I was miserable, I got married young, at 22 and before then I was on a steady incline of weight gain, after the marriage, it got out of control. I was eating my feelings and I didn't know how to stop.

The topic of surgery came up when I had blood work done (i'm anemic) and my doctor told me that I was borderline diabetic and when I saw the # on the scale say 394#... I knew something had to be done. He referred me to the Bariatric Institute of Wisconsin. With my insurance I was required to do a 1 year treatment plan and several times within that year, I nearly gave up and thought it wasnt worth it. Boy, I'm glad I stuck it out.

My gastric sleeve surgery was May 16,2013. The day that changed my entire life. The surgery was good, the next day in the hospital was torture but again, It was 100% worth the struggle. I spent my time looking at before and after photos and watching youtube videos of people who had the surgery and wondering "will I ever be this person with these kind of results?" and the answer is yes. If you want it bad enough, it will be you and I am living proof of someone who changed their life with one struggle at a time.

The first few months are the worst, your life is basically taken on a rollercoaster with no seatbelt. You have to learn slowly what you can and cant handle, how to count protein, and slowly get into a work out regimine. At about 3-4 months, everyone besides me was noticing the weight loss. I honestly thought I was at a stand still and scared of developing body dimorphic because I wasn't seeing it but everyone else was. I just thought everyone was being nice knowing I had this surgery done. At about 8 months, it hit me. I looked through old pictures of myself where I thought I looked great and to my own self, I was unrecognizable, thats when things started to really hit me. The hard work, the 5-6 days a week at the gym, the sacrifices were all making sense and I was ecstatic. It's a strange feeling.

okay.... at 10 months, my personal life started to take a bad turn. Before my surgery, my husband told me he would be supportive and was excited for me to go through this and better myself and he promised to take the plunge with me with changing eating habits and working out....that didn't seem to be the case. I was more active and wanting to experience life because well, I got my life back! and all he was concerned with was going to buffets, ordering pizza and laying in bed playing video games. Our sex life (tmi) was non existant, We started to only speak a few words a day to eachother. I was going out with my friends constantly because he would never want to go anywhere. Well.... a month ago I filed for divorce and am moving into my own place tomorrow. It's really liberating to have the strength to do this, I was unhappy for at least 2 years but this surgery gave me the confidence I needed to break free. I'm only 25 and yes, I got married young and I understand, marriage is a commitment but a person can only give so much until they break and try to work on things so much before it becomes a lost cause. I never knew I had this strength in me and I owe it all to the gastric sleeve surgery. It saved my life in more ways than one. So if you're on the fence or not sure about it... think about all the doors it can open in other aspects of your life.

I'm now just over 1 year out, almost 190# down, went from a size 30 to a size 14 in jeans and i wear a size small/medium in mens tshirts, when I used to wear a 3x. it's a pretty amazing feeling!

thanks for reading