So this is it. Tomorrow is the big day! I am filled with so many different emotions. Obviously, I am super excited. Words cannot express the amount of excitement that I am feeling. Tomorrow opens a brand new chapter in my life. And there is no looking back.

But there is also fear looming about. There is the natural fear that everyone has right before surgery. Praying that everything will go right. But I also have this fear that I will not be successful. I know in my mind that I am ready, that I am determined, and that I have the full support of my family and friends. However, there is still that small little part of me that thinks…what if I can’t do this? What if I go back to my old ways? Having this fear of failure, I think, will push me not to go back to my old ways. Not only will I be disappointing myself, but I will be disappointing all those who have supported me through this process and as my journey continues.

This week was actually a breeze with the exception of the anticipation. Saw the surgeon on Tuesday for a final appointment, and all went well. The diet actually was ok. I didn’t lose as much this week, but I expected that. I stopped wanting to eat everything that I saw. Had a few cravings every now and then, but nothing too horrible. Had a weird craving for a simple deli sandwich. That’s all I wanted. But I never cheated once, and that makes me proud of myself for sure. A gold star for me!!

Now I sit here with my boyfriend, Joe, patiently awaiting tomorrow. Special instructions for tonight: shower and then wipe myself down with special body wipes. Yuck! But it is what it is, and it will be worth it. No eating or drinking after midnight. No biggie there. All I hope is that I can sleep tonight. Being filled with excitement and anxiety, I doubt I will, but one can only hope.

That’s it for today. I will definitely update once I get home from the hospital, either Wednesday or Thursday. Thank you all for reading and thank you to all my family and friends for all your love and support!!