Today I'm two weeks out from surgery. I feel so much better even from a week ago. Today I had to go back to the clinic to have a nurse examine the incision sites and get a date for my first fill. All of that went well and the nurse was pleased with my progress. I am too!

I'm struggling a bit with hunger and apparently that's normal. I eat approximately every two hours or so, though my caloric intake is good and I track everything on myfitnesspal. I track even a dash of pepper or salt. All of it.

I have upped my protein level. According to the literature I received from my clinic, about 65 grams is good, but that doesn't keep me sated at all. I hover near 90 grams a day. I'm still very low fat, very low carbs, very low sodium.

I exercise, but truthfully - not everyday. I'd say I'm at 5 of 7 days and it's all been walking.

I'm still going to a therapist who I adore and yesterday we spoke about body image and the pain that causes me to this day. Shame, guilt, frustration. Coupled with my weight is that I'm very tall and you stand out when you are obese, let alone tall. I want so much to figure out how to reconcile all of this because I'm convinced it's one of many keys to my weight loss.

As a child, I wasn't given the freedom to discuss my feelings. If you were angry - you couldn't express it, if you were unhappy for any reason, you just didn't say it. Those feelings must be dealt with and it's unnatural to not express them. My anger formed my depression.

I'm so grateful I'm on my way to learning about why I do what I do, and how to better care for myself. I may sound down, but I promise, I'm not, I'm pleased I'm working away on me.

Nancy