Whew! I just got back from my third road trip in the past few weeks. I know I haven't been keeping you in the loop. I've been busy! I told you I was going to be gallivanting around the country. So I hope you'll forgive my tardiness. I have certainly felt the wrath of some of our more ardent followers. Believe it or not, there are few fatty fans out there who just can't live without this blathering blog. One or two are even a bit stalk-ish.

(Note to FeelingFatInFinland: Yes, I got your e-mail. No, I won't send you a photo of my bare ass with all the stretch marks connected in red marker. I can't reach that far. Besides, if you really need to see something like that, a detailed road map of Cincinnati would probably do the trick.)

(Note 2 to BiggunInBoston: The answers to your questions in order are: Yes, No, Three at a time, On my head, NEVER!, Boomerang, Oink oink baby and jelly.)

That takes care of this weeks fan mail. I will share more in the future.

OK, now to the news. As previously stated I have been on three roads trips in the last 3 weeks. Staying on my self prescribed 1200 calorie a day plan was difficult. Logging my food choices was not an option. Eating the right foods all the time was a struggle. Staying away from alcohol was impossible. The bad news is I gained about a pound and a half. But I think I 'll be able to dump that by Friday after a week of detoxing.

I'm not upset. I'm right where I expected to be. I mean really. I spent a few nights in the foodie paradise of New Orleans and then 5 nights partying at a golf tourney in Palm Beach. Honestly, I feel pretty much unscathed. I really did watch my food intake. I ate every meal out. So I tried to eat the right fruits and fishes where possible. I watched my portions. Other than a small binge on plain M&Ms that were mistakenly sent to my room, I avoided all sweets. Pretty much a home run.

Unfortunately, Johnny likes his booze. All flavors as a matter of fact. We all know that booze is a secret diet killer. The more you drink, the thinner you think. The thinner you think, the more you eat. It's a vicious circle. Clearly, Mr. Booze (or AL C. Hall as we know him) are the enemies of restraint. And I succumbed repeatedly to their liquor-i-ous offerings. Martinis, Cabernet's and Merlot. Greyhounds, Screwdrivers, Bloody Mari's and a frosty margarita. As a salute to the Olympics, I even sprinkled a few White Russians in for good measure. A regular cornucopia of adult beverages.

Hell, I get it! It's back on the ol' wagon for me today. I'm tracking my food, I'm off the sauce and I might even try to get in a workout or two. I'm leaving for the Valley of the Sun in 3 weeks and 4 days. I'm planning on being under 180 when I get on that plane. SO let's do this. Phase 2 of the Deconstruction of Johnny has begun! I have about 28 more pounds to lose by May 2015 according to Dr. X. I might as well start now.

BTW... I saw Dr. X before I left for Florida. I'll update you on that next time.

Soooo long for now.

Johnny

FAT FANS! Send your questions and comments to:

mccgolfer99@gmail.com

I will answer any questions and read all comments. Who knows, you might even make the blog!