I am so sorry you are having to go through this, and I completely agree with you on your rant.

God bless. I'm sending you much love.

I am so sorry you are having to go through this, and I completely agree with you on your rant.

God bless. I'm sending you much love.

thank you. My mother is going to the hospital tonight because she did break something and they want to check her out better.

Tough topic to address, but my brother has voiced something similar. My dad passed away at 87 this past May from colon cancer that spread to his lungs. He was quite the tough cookie & pretty much "healthy" up until the very end.

Dad used to take care of mom (take her to Dr appointments all the time (even if she didn't need to go), made her take her meds, etc..). Mom is 85 & has dementia. She recognizes everyone but is just very forgetful & is constantly losing stuff. She doesn't cook, feels she can live on coffee & cookies, or Ensure. She's quite frail but can still get around the house (albeit very slowly). She lives alone now but has a home health care aide that stays with her 5 days a week, 4 hours a day. Her helper is amazing & we adore her. I also help take care of mom. Stop by almost daily, do her shopping & sometimes even cook. I think I'm the only way that can "make" her eat, though very minimally.

After almost 60 years of marriage, mom misses dad terribly (as do we) & doesn't feel like going on some times. She barely eats, only if "I" make something & make her eat. She doesn't want to move into a home either. She barely wants to go outside of the house, so she just exists in the home, waling around day in / day out moving things around over & over again to the point that we are constantly looking for things for her.

My brother & I promised her (and dad) that we would keep her in her home as long as possible because she felt strongly, and quite frankly, they (government) just take all her money & all proceeds from the sale of her home to take care of her. We find that very frustrating because she loses everything.

I digress. My brother feels she is miserable & doesn't want to go on so why should she? It's a very personal, very difficult topic. Why can't we all pass peacefully at, let's say, 90? A good age, hopefully well-lived, and well-loved.

my mother use to say when she was around 85 that she, my father and brother should go on a bus and let the bus go over the cliff. My SIL added her father (he is now 96)to the list and my husband added his mother (90) to the list. It is funny but not funny.

my mother use to say when she was around 85 that she, my father and brother should go on a bus and let the bus go over the cliff. My SIL added her father (he is now 96)to the list and my husband added his mother (90) to the list. It is funny but not funny.

My mother is the same way. It is sad. I ask my Dad how he keeps doing it day after day. He said because he remembers when...when she was beautiful, when she would smile etc., and this will be a short time until they will both be whole again.

my mother use to say when she was around 85 that she, my father and brother should go on a bus and let the bus go over the cliff. My SIL added her father (he is now 96)to the list and my husband added his mother (90) to the list. It is funny but not funny.

I have had the same thought -- but then I think about the people who would have to risk their lives just to recover the vehicle from the bottom of the cliff

I don't want to be morbid, but you might find interesting the story of Martin Manley. I applaud his philosophy and what he did is certainly very...well, thought provoking. Here's an article about him: http://news.msn.com/us/martin-manley-details-suicide-sets-off-treasure-hunt

Even now after all these months, his website gets so many hits that you can't usually get to it. But there is a mirror site that was set up (the link is in the article but here it is too: http://www.zeroshare.info/ )

It's really fascinating...and like I said, thought -provoking. He's kind of a hero I think. Not sure if I agree 100% with every thing he said/ did....but what he did he thoroughly thought out and was extremely practical about and ... wow.

Please don't anyone jump on me if you disagree with the subject of the article/website. I am merely sharing access to information.

And much love.

I wonder if this might change as the baby boomers who are experiencing these terrible end of life scenarios for their parents ultimately become like their parents. If at 50 or 60ish, you see what the folks are going thru, would you likely look to make sure this doesn't happen to you?

I don't know if this means making sure someone will follow your wishes, or if we start to legislate ways to end life before the quality is all gone. Interesting topic but so sorry it's happening to you personally Arlene.

My oldest brother once went to a meeting/talk about dealing with old age parents. The speaker said that to keep the mind going, math helps. My mother would take 3 packages of the same item and in her head would tell which size to buy. It was like it happened over night. She fell and then went back home and that was over 4 years ago. She took care of and spoiled my brother who is mentally challenged. He is now our problem. He is mentally around 12, which when you see others, that is great. When he was 8 months he got the measles and it destroyed 1/2 his brain.

I hope I am never like this when I get that age.

eye candy.......all i can say is i love you

and i understand and happy to see you vent because

sometimes, we just need to and it is the RIGHT thing to do

you have wings waiting for you in heaven