Getting Closer

I am 25 hours and 15 minutes away from surgery.

Today I start a clear liquid diet and bowel cleanse/prep.

I consider myself lucky that I didn't have to do any of the week/s long diets I have read about. This allowed me to have a wonderful date with my husband last night. We went to a restaurant that he has been dying to take me to where you can draw on the table (paper table cloths). I had drank wine and coke, ate prim rib, and took tiramisu home for dessert! IT WAS DELICIOUS!

However, the best part of it was my pants. Pants? So the jeans I wore were really tight (and they are the biggest pair I have now) and I was completely miserable. With every bite I was reminded how tight they were. It go to where I could not finish my steak because it was going to come back up. It was a bitter sweet experience; on the one hand it was reinforced to me that I am making the right decision by having the surgery, but on the other hand I was not able to fully enjoy what we laughingly referred to as "the last super".

I was going through a bag this morning and found unopened bag of Snickers Bites. Sadness washed over me, but only for a minute. I have never been a big fan of wasting food, so I can't bring myself to toss them. I suppose they will sit in my pantry until someone say's "Hey, I sure would love a Snickers!" (this is unlikely to happen in my house because I am the only one that eats them). Maybe it I put them in the freeze, they will be the perfect size for me later; much, much later.

I have a lot to do today and I am trying to focus on the details that need to be taken care of instead of my nerves. I can not tell at this point if I am more excited of nervous. I keep telling myself that I have support and this is what I need to do. It feels like if I think about it too much that all of it will fall apart. ......