As with many, many people, my struggle with weight started long before I new anything about counting calories and carbs. I was overweight by 3rd grade and "fat" (according to the kids in school) by 5th grade. I was heavy all through school. Sure, I have lost weight here and there, but have always been far from the elusive "ideal" weight.

My sister had a Gastric Bypass many years ago (maybe 15) and she was very sick and is now just as big (if not bigger) then prior to surgery. I always told myself and others "I would NEVER have surgery." Well, as they say, never say never! Now here I am 8 days from going under the knife.

What changed? Several things. There have been new developments - new surgeries and techniques - that were not in practice 15 years ago. I have or am dealing with many issues medically. I have support in my life that is greater then any I have ever known. I could probably go on, but the best answer is that time changed my mind for me.

For the last several years I have struggled medically. I am lucky that I do not have many of the typical problems associated with obesity - high blood pressure, high cholesterol, diabetes. I was, however, diagnosed 3 or 4 years ago with Lupus and Fibromyalgia. The pain can be debilitating on some days. I am on many medications for all of this and all of them have the side effect of weight gain. I have talked with my PCP as well as my Rheumatologist on several occasions about loosing weight; by loosing weight I will take pressure off of my joints and muscles possibly buying me some much needed relief.

This has been an uphill (or stagnant) battle. No matter what I tried there was little to no weight loss. My final attempt was suggested over a year ago and I did not want to do it due to the financial aspect of it. I began taking a prescription drug, Qsymia, that cost me (WITH INSURANCE COVERAGE) $200+ a month! I was on the drug for 6 months, costing me over $1200 dollars, and lost 17 lbs! I worked so hard; I exercised through the pain, I ate 1500 to 1200 (more often less) everyday and I lost a pathetic 17 lbs. ! What the hell?!?!

During this time my PCP told me at several visits that he thought Lap Band was the way to go for me. I am still admit that surgery was not an accepible option. At the end of the six months on Qsymia, I was heartbroken, defeated, and beaten. I called my PCP with tears in my eyes and asked for a referral for Lap Band and wanted to meet with him to talk it over some more with me and my husband. I went to the visit and I had been off the Qsymia for a couple weeks and had gained about half of the 17 lbs. back. He told me that he did not think that UVA would let me do that Lap Band because I am too obese. I burst into tears because I was still not sure about Lap Band, much less getting anything where they cut your organs and stitch you back up (for some reason a foreign object in my body seemed safer). My PCP gave me the referral for Lap Band anyway (probably because he was tired of my crying in his office).

On November 7, 2013, my husband and I went to UVA for the class/consultation and the first words our of the nurse's mouth were "I am going to convince you NOT to get a Lap Band." My husband and I just looked at each other with surprise and confusion all over our faces. I whispered to him "No. I am not going to have any other type of surgery!" Well, as you already know, I did not hold to true to that statement. She described in detail all three surgeries that they can do; band, sleeve, and bypass, and the post-op instructions for each. Then the nutritionist came in and discussed diet for the surgeries. After this, we had a break before we saw the surgeon. Immediately we sat down and looked at each other and started asking what the other thought in the hopes that we each felt the same way; the sleeve was the right way to go, but we have more questions for the surgical team. We went into the room to meet one on one with the surgical team members and told my story, expressed our concerns, and asked questions. Everyone on the team agreed that the sleeve was a much better choice in my situation then the band. I was fighting against too much and that I need to be able to change my body's chemical makeup (this will happen naturally when part of my stomach is removed) in order for there to be significant change. Final decision made: Gastric Sleeve.

Within the next two weeks, I had my psychiatric evaluation and had hospital records from an Endoscopy sent to UVA. The insurance authorization processes for Bariatric Surgery had begun before I even met the surgeon. Now all I could do was wait. It took every bit of three weeks to get the psych eval results and four page document stating at the end that "...bariatric surgery is recommended..." was sent to the insurance company and UVA. Two weeks after that I was called with insurance approval and set a date to meet with the surgeon one more time and to have an gallbladder ultrasound. The appointment went very well and all of my presurgery labs and x-rays were done, we met with the anesthiaology nurse, and a date was set. On January 20, 2014, I will have the Gastric Sleeve, a Hiatal Hernia Repair, and my Gallbladder removed!

Every day it gets closer and every day I get a little bit more nervous. I am not scared. I am just anxious. There is so much to do; train someone to do my job at work (I'm a total control freak over this and it is not easy to let go); get my house and finances in order; get my important paper work in order (you never know what could happen); buy all the necessary post-op stuff; etc. It will all get done (I hope!), and if not, it will just have to wait till I recover enough to do it (again, hard to let go)! Friday they will call me with the time to report to UVA and time of surgery. As anxious as I am, I could not be more excited!