Happy New Year! I had an amazing holiday. I can't believe how quickly I threw all my healthy eating out the window. I was on vacation for 10 days. For some reason I immediately converted back to pre-band eating. Which is also known as out of control. After I got off the plane, I immediately went through the drive thru and ordered a family pack of fried chicken strips and a side order of mac and cheese. After that I ate non stop. And I had complete mixed emotions - on one hand it felt so good, it had been a long time since I ate like that. But on the other hand I had about 6 stuck episodes in 10 days and felt guilty a lot of the time. All of my stuck episodes were because I was shoveling food in my mouth as fast as I possibly could. It tasted so good. So good. Soooooo good.

Prior to going on vacation I felt I was on the right track with everything - I was measuring portions, logging my food, eating protein first, cutting out almost all sugar. And I wasn't miserable - I didn't feel like I was dieting. I didn't really miss eating crappily. (Well, except every once in a while when I watched co-workers devour huge pieces of cake ...)

So why did I immediately go back to eating like a maniac? I definitely went to my vacation knowing I would indulge a little bit. But I thought it would be a little bit here and there - instead it was literally every meal with snacks in between.

I know at least for one thing that I am not in the green zone yet. It's been 6 months, and I'm close, but not there. I can eat 2 enormous slices of pizza (ie - half the pizza) and still want more. That is really frustrating. Like, really frustrating. I might have higher expectations for my band than it is designed for. But is it too much to ask to want to be full/satisfied on a small portion of food?!?!? Apparently.

But - I've been back for 4 days and every day has been a good day. I feel off the wagon, but I am right back on and for that, I am so grateful and proud. I was worried it would be the beginning of my demise, but instead it's just a 10 day oops. Hooray me!