So I've been waiting since March 2013 for confirmation off funding for the Gastric Sleeve, Still nothing. My hospital hasn't called me either. I have called them roughly 4 times, and they keep saying that it's sorted that end, we just need funding confirmation. So I tried and tried and tried until I gave up.. Most people are just like "You haven't given up, it just takes time" but I did give up. I've had to see people who have less heath issues, weigh less, tried less and still don't like the outcome get the operation. Jelousy really isn't the word, more like anger but so so bitter, such a hypocrite, if someone wants something so bad and they work for it, they deserve it, right?

I have tried for this operation for years, and I've only just realised that the last 3 (ish?) months, I haven't tried. I'm really angry with myself! All that time I could of been chasing them up, doing everything in my power for an answer, even if it means bugging them, I shouldn't care.

So yeah it's now 2014 and I haven't got a new year resolution, I have goals.

1. Chase them up on the operation - I won't give up! I can't. They promised me this operation, so now I have to work to get it.
   

2. Don't be so down - I have been really down on myself lately, and I joke my way through it but I now know that I need to be positive and know that I CAN do this!

3. Socialize - I literally can spend days just at home offering to babysit or just on the laptop/writing. Just so I don't have to go out, I hate it when people look at me, my mind automatically turns to paranoia "they're talking about me" "she's judging me" funny thing is, I was the one judging them for thinking they're judging me.

4. Diet! - Yess I gave up on that too, I need to loose some more before I go bug the surgeon.

So yeah, that's all I have so far, but it's a start, right?

Hopefully this time next year I'm well on my way and hopefully without jinxing it, waiting/had the sleeve done.

I'm only really making this blog so I can motivate myself and look back in a few years and (hopefully) be proud of myself.

I'll be posting every week, so for now.. That's it