How do I begin?

I am on the 3rd month of the 6 months insurance required supervised weight loss program.

I saw my doctor in October and went on a 1200 calorie diet. I got the My pal fitness app and logged away all the foods I ate. My first week was so hard I couldn't stay with 1200, but by week 3 I was on track (I never ate more than 2000 calories in a giving day and it was not often) Because of my weight I should've been able to lose 2 lbs per week eating 1700 calories, but I did 1200. A month later I had lost 1 lbs. ONE LB. I walked out of there pretty upset and have not opened that app and have really not tried at all. My 3rd app is tomorrow and I am not looking forward to it.

I feel like this isn't really happening. Somehow it does not feel real. When I think about it hard, I get really very scared. Not of the procedure itself per se, but what it will do with the dynamic of my life, my family. But the thought of not doing anything about it is even scarier. I know I am stuck. I have spoken to the insurance expert at my surgeon's office (in a panic) about my chances of qualifying for the surgery and she was pretty confident. She laughed and said. "I've worked with your insurance - I know what they need. You meet every criteria and with your BMI, trust me, they can't deny you". Then why does losing weigh seem as much as an unachieveable dream as winning the lottery?