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Mortified

RavenClaw779

831 views

That's the only word I could come up with describe what I felt when I saw the photo my husband took of me at a charity event the other night. Here I am, sixty pounds smaller than I was at my highest weight. I straighted my naturally curly, unruly hair and was wearing an outfit I thought looked nice and certainly fit a lot looser than the last time I wore it. Since I was the chairman of this event, I really made an effort to look good.

 

OMG! I looked enormous - I'm only a 38B but I looked like a line backer with a giant jelly roll. Can your head also get fat? I know your face can, but damn if I didn't look like my head was a large melon wearing a flat blonde wig. All the hassles and hurling of the past three years you'd think I'd at least have looked better than I did 60 pounds ago, but no - I look exactly the same!

 

In for my pre-admission testing on Friday and the nurse said to me, "So the band didn't work for you?" . I've gotten so tired of explaining what I've gone through I just let her roll on with a lecture of how people really need to deal with the root cause of their eating issues.

Yeah - tell me about it Twiggy!

Laughably, now that I'm really eating next to nothing - let's put it this way, even yogurt can be tough to get down - you'd think the pounds would just be falling off especially after a day of creating my extensive outdoor Christmas light display and hauling boxes up from the basement and down from the attic. Nope - no change.

 

I'll be interested to see if when(if?) I can eat more normally, whether I'm going to balloon up or whether having had such a negative relationship with food for so long, if I'll lose or just hang out at this same weight forever.

 

One thing for sure - No more photos!!



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If you are being compliant and not losing weight, you absolutely must discuss this with the doctor and nutritionist..and you should have told the nurse she presumed wrong. Root cause, shmoot cause. That's for folks who are not changing their eating habits. Again, if you are following the protocol and not losing, get the help you deserve. Good luck.

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Raven, I can identfy with how you felt when you looked at the pictures. I weighed 160 plus at my highest but I am shorter than you and when I first started losing and had lost about 60 lbs or so I thought I would look a lot smaller than I did in pictures. I had a really hard time with body image and it took me a really long time to accept I was thiner. As far as no losing and not being able to eat. Honestly you have to be able to eat to lose witht he band, my personal experience has been the more protein I could eat the better I lost weight. It took me a long time to really understand how my body burned calories, for a long time I ate 1000 calories or less and did not understand why I did not lose weight. Hang in there and just continue to montior your protein intake and increase your activity. It really is more that just watching what you eat, it is portion control, mix of protein and carbs and how your metabolism burns the calories. Just keep working at it, I bought a fit bite and it helped me to really understand calorie in and out and how my body burned calories. Good luck to you.

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First off, a big congratulations to you for losing 60 lbs. That is awesome!!! Personally for me I have lost 45 lbs so far and am feeling soooooo much better. We are our own worst critics. Just think on how you feel 60 lbs lighter. Sounds like you did a whole heck of a lot in 1 day. Wow! As far as the Ms. "Twiggy" she was wrong! Hang in there. :)

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