So I've been reading a blog here and there and they remind me of an old journal I used to keep a long, long time ago. Kind of a map of the goings on in my life. Something I can look back on and see progress. So here goes my story:

I've been fat all my life. I was a fat baby, a fat kid, a fat teen, a fat bride, and a larger than most (but actually an acceptable weight) soldier in the Army. I pretty much hovered around 198, never going over 200. Until my husband died at 46 (I was 40). In the 2 yrs afterwards, I went to 248. A bmi of 40.8.

I moved 3,000 miles from the East Coast to the West Coast to "start over". I then had lapband surgery when it took my breath away to tie my shoes. It took 4 mths and 3 fills to get to my "sweet spot" and I then started losing. After 50 lbs and 10 mths later, I felt confident enuf to start dating. My mom encouraged me to go online, since the only friends I had in the new town were people from church and from my widows group (most over the age of 75).

Had coffee with a few men who never even asked for my number. Dated 1 guy for 2 mths, he asked me to marry him at week 2 and put a ring on layaway. We were very serious. Even looking at house together. He then decided we were getting too serious and broke it off. Found out that he had been conversing with a woman in Iowa, he fell in love, and was bringing her to Oregon to get married. He used my ring that was on layaway. So tacky. Broke my heart. He was definitely a "chubby chaser" tho and I was getting too thin for him.

I met Craig online. We were talking and he wanted to have coffee. It was midnight. So in the shower I went and met him for coffee at 2 am. That was 3 yrs ago. Married him almost 2 yrs ago. I got lucky for the 2nd time in my life, to marry the man of my dreams. He's so encouraging of my weightloss but never says anything if I've managed to gain a few lbs. He had recently lost 80 lbs before I met him using Atkins, so he knew about being obese.

Last year, after vomiting frequently (think I lost the 104 lbs I lost on the bulimic diet) my band finally had had it and slipped. After numerous unfills/fills/tweaks, it was determined it wasn't gunna fix itself. I had my sleeve revision 4 mths ago. I've now lost 22 lbs with 22 to goal of 130 (I had gained 30 lbs during the year my band was slipped and unfilled, of course. Isn't that the way the band works?).

While I'm bummed about my slow progress, someone mentioned to me recently that I've lost 50% of my excess weight in 4 months and how fantastic that was. So yeah me!

I know I could speed up my weightloss by counting everything that goes into my mouth but thats why I had wls in the first place - so I'd never have to diet again. So I will take a 1-2 lbs a week loss getting to eat whatever I want (including bread, rice, pasta and potatoes) over eating only protein and veggies and counting every calorie that goes into my mouth. I got fat from eating too much. I no longer eat too much so I'm bound to lose weight. I can eat about as much as I could when my lapband was at it's premium, but without all the vomiting. Vomited once since being sleeve (my fault - ate too much). I still eat cookies (1 instead of 12), chips (5-6 instead of a bag), bread (1 pc vs 4), pasta (5-6 bites instead of a whole order), fried chicken (1/2 wing instead of 6 wings, and cheese nips (a small handful instead of the whole box)

Ok, got that off my chest. Now, for the lectures on why eating whatever I want is counterproductive after wls....