I've discovered since having my lap band surgery on Sept. 19th that a whole new world is really out there waiting for me...and I am quite excited by this!

In 7 weeks and 5 days I have learned so much more about myself than I ever would have thought possible. First and foremost....I can eat to live and not live to eat anymore. This is a big one....as a constant food grazer for the past 30 or so years...who knew you could really just eat to nourish your body and mind and move on with your day....with your life.

My band and I are forging a whole new relationship together and we are getting along fabulously....I'm learning to stop at satisfied, chew, chew, chew, and to eat slowly. When I do this I don't feel that pressure in my chest I experienced a few times when first back on solids. I eat when I'm hungry...this is a new one for me. I actually wait when my stomach begins to growl and really get rowdy. Why one might ask. Because I havent felt TRUE hunger in so many years its actually a nice feeling. It reminds me that this is the signal that tells me....Yup....time to put some nourishment in me....and that's it!

Food is not all consuming to me anymore. I dont have any cravings. I dont know if its the band or the plication but I am loving it! I realized a week ago that I can eat something like a fun-size bag of peanut M+M's and the food demon of my past will not be unleashed. I thought for sure once I had that taste of chocolate...the taste of salty and sweet...the taste of goodness and comfort and joy that those M+M's used to elicit would cause me to slip back into old eating habits and patterns. You know what....IT DIDNT. Mind you, panic over this little "snack" did cause fear in my heart and soul as I ran around the house for the rest of the night telling my hubby that I surely released "the demon". Well, guess what?...the next day was like any other banded day for me. Eating breakfast, lunch, my little snack to get me to dinner and then to my last meal of the day- dinner.

Now when I see that bowl of leftover Halloween candy, I glance at it and say ....aaahhh...and walk away and onto the next thing I was going to do. Moments like that I now say WOW to.

At work, no one (well actually only one person---the wonderful school nurse who helped me when I fell outside of work right before my lap band surgery and i basically broke down because of the stress of everything---knows). One girl has said I've lost weight.....many others comment on how great my hair looks and they all love the shirts I'm wearing. I find it funny....not sure if they dont know what to say or this is how they are noticing it. I've always been a loose fitting shirt girl, always trying to cover up all my baggage and now my clothes are beginning to hang even more. I know I've got to get new stuff but the thought of not hiding stuff is all new to me. I will come around...for I must...but this part is the hard part right now.

I feel good...I feel light....I feel faster...I feel more energetic. I love that my wedding/engagement ring are constantly twisting on my finger. I love that my watch needs a link taken out. I love that I can eat at home or go out to eat with my family and I CAN eat. Whatever I want....sometimes better choices than others but I can always eat everything. I DO NOT feel deprived of anything. I don't miss the constant grazing, the donuts by the dozen, the pints of Ben & Jerry's, the 2 or 3 helpings at dinner.

I DO LOVE that my hubby is able to reach around me better when he gives me a hug....I can keep up with my kids better....i feel better about myself....i am happier than i've been in some time.....I'm healthier.....i've lost 46 pounds and this is just the beginning.

I look out my window and see that whole new world that being thinner offers and at times it is scary and seems so unknown but I wont know how truly great it all is unless I continue to travel down that road and reach that weight loss goal that has eluded me for sooooo many, many years.

So, watch out....'cause here I come!