My son's wedding was a turning point for me. I thought I looked pretty good until we got the pictures back. From shoulders up was okay - the hair looked great, makeup was good, and smile was great. But the rest of it - not so good. I'm a type 2 diabetic, have a BMI of 44.6; high blood pressure; high cholorestol; two bad kness that have been replaced and I am tired all the time. So I am going to try and have the RNY procedures. It seems to have the best success rate and my primary care doctor recommends it. She has referred me; the psychologist thinks I am a good candidate; and I have my first pre-op appointment Oct 2 with Missouri Bariatrics Services in Columbia, Mo. They are a Center of Excellence and tell me I don't need to contact Medicare prior to the surgery. This causes me some concern but I am waiting to my visit to find someone there to discuss this with.

I've been doing a lot of reading and found a couple of good books, One is by the lady who runs www.bariatriceating.com. It has a lot of good recipes plus her story is very encouraging especially from the psychological post op viewpoint. It was well worth the money. Also has some excellent references. I also bought three cookbooks for use after surgery. Two of the three look pretty good but I think the third one will not be of much use until I am in the normal food stage.

I haven't told any of my family what I am doing except my son. He is 41 and has watched me struggle with my weight and all the health issues I have had and he is very encouraging. I'm lucky to have him in my corner because I can trust him to be frank with me. As for the rest of my family, it will be a mixed review leaning toward "this is very drastic" and "have you considered the long term consequences." My answer to that is "yes, it is drastic" and "yes, I have considered the consequences and they far outweight the consequences of not having the surgery."

I told my psychologist during his evaluation that I wanted to start coming to see him when my surgery is scheduled because I think my biggest challenge is going to be handling my attitude toward my body and how a new slimmer, attractive me is going to function in my world. I have a couple of very good friends to help me through this but they live a few states away so the phone lines will be burning up. Plus my son's email account as he will probably be back in Afghanistan by the time the surgery happens.

Some day when I have more time I going to write about how the events of the last couple of years have put me here in this place where everything seems to be falling into place.