Pre-Surgery Freak Out
Strangely enough, I'm not as freaked right now as I was 10 minutes ago. Oh wait, here it comes......yep, self-doubt and that horrible feeling in my stomach is back. Ok breathe. In and out, in and out. This is what you've wanted for so long, remember? Just calm down! It's gonna be fine.
Molly, you work at the hospital where you have surgery, you've explored all the ins and outs of the surgery, you know what to do and you'll do it. You're super educated about this whole process so, why the freak?
Ah yes, that nagging feeling that they're gonna weigh you on the day of surgery and say, "you gained 5 lbs and now you can't have surgery." They probably COULD do that if they wanted to BUT, in my situation I don't think they would. And, I may have gained 5 lbs. I just haven't gotten on the scale in the last 2 weeks since I met my 5% weight loss requirement for surgery. Gulp.
My friend who had the sleeve done said that they did weigh her right before surgery in the pre-op area and she had gained 3 lbs but, no one said anything about it. So.....that gives me hope.
I mean seriously, what do they expect? I want to stuff my face at every waking moment now. It's terrible, way worse than trying to loose weight. I'm not gonna get to eat most of the junk I'm eating now....well, for a really long time! Ok, I guess that's the point.
I had a LARGE piece of red velvet cake at work yesterday. It was so fabulous. I'm really never going to forget it. Or the horrific diarhea after I ate it that looked surprizingly red in the toilet. YUCK!!! TMI!!!
I dreamt about Top Ramen last night. I woke up thinking, WTF? I never dream about food!!! Never!!! Am I gonna dream about food now? Oh brother, I sure hope not.
I dreamt that I was parked next to another car with 2-3 people in it. When I got out of my car I noticed that they had a large bag of Top Ramen on the shelf that you can see via the back window. I asked them if I could have it. WTF!!!!! LOL In the end, I think it turned out to be cookies and something else instead of Top Ramen. So, I said, "Oh, nevermind, thanks anyways" and I had to leave the bag of whatever with them. Hopefully this is a good sign.
Wow, this whole blogging thing is super therapeutic. I'm gonna have to do it more often.
Off to work for my last day until October. That is IF they still let me have surgery. lol
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