I need to express concern and frustration. I rescheduled an appointment a month ago but I misplaced my organizer so I put the new appointment into my phone then added it later to my organizer. Only I forgot to cross out the original appointment scheduled today Friday the 20th. I tried to call the office before I went at 851am but the phone rolled over To the message : office hours are 9-5. So I go and the receptionist says I indeed do Not have an appointment my appointment is the 24 th at 930 am. I mention I tried to call. She says" oh no I opened the phones at 830". I looked at my phone it shows I made the call at 851am she says "no no no the phone was ringing and being answered then". Ok wtf is the point of saying that to me? It came off so rude and she did it over and over. I left disgruntled not because I wasted my time but because of her attitude. This is making me nervous about the office staff. It's not the first time I have had an issue. When trying to schedule my counseling appointments which I have to pay out of pocket for the receptionist interrupted our scheduling to say she had to do something else and someone else would have to help me. She then answered the phone and scheduled someone else. I got upset because it was complicated confusing and she dumps me for another call. I walked out.

This process is anxiety producing enough with out this crap from the staff. I thought everyone would be more encouraging and supportive and not nasty and confrontational. I might mention that I was not blaming them in anyway for the issue today that was all me. simply why in the world did she keep negating or denying that I had got their machine that morning. Seriously sigh

Today started off well traffic wasn't to bad since my fiasco last week (see previous post) I "knew" my appointment was at 930am I got there at 915 went to the bathroom first signed in at 930 and sat until called when I di my day went down hill fast. The very nice scheduler said my appointment was at 900 am and the nutritionist had a 930 already. She said she was confused about which visit this was for me since she was on maternity leave when I started and my 3 month program was not set up right. I stood there and and started saying but I was here Friday and she told me my appointment was for 930. Then I did something I haven't done in literally years I burst into tears. The sweet receptionist took me into a private room and straighten out my "program" the scheduler Pam set up my surgery appointment , I got to see not only the nutritionist but the nurse practitioner for my " second" appointment ( the pre op exam and review). While the end result is I have my date I got some questions answered and reassurance from the staff I cried a lot and melted down completely which for me is not a comfortable feeling. When I was a new RN I cried when faced with any confrontation and I hated it. I trained my self not to cry in front of people of authority and to stand up for myself. I became a strong voice in my career so this breakdown brings back bad memories of a weaker self. I felt better when I left went to work and remained a little fragile all day. I cried a few times ( in private) but I made it through the day. I work tmr but have the rest of the week off for my birthday.

Oh I forgot I freaking gained 2 lbs so they are pressuring me big time to lose 45 lbs before surgery.

I have started my fitness pal and data entering all I eat it is working to curb my binging as I don't like entering to much lol I am being brutally honest and entering everything I eat. My plan is to begin low carb in earnest Monday kind of a modified Atkins because that the only diet I have ever tried that helps me resist sweets and that I feel strong and healthy while I do it.