So, I've been thinking about WLS for about a year, working toward it, researching it, talking to Doctors, and friends, etc. Then I made the decision to have it done, got established with a doctor, went through all the testing, waiting for insurance approval, getting on the surgery schedule, getting RE-scheduled. But tomorrow, I REALLY start my new life. Tomorrow I start my liquid diet.

I have all those little worries running thru my mind.

First, I'm a little worried about surgery. Not really the surgery itself, I'm a healthy woman and I'm not worried about complications. I feel very confident in doctor and his staff. I am nervous about the recovery. My real concern is I don't want to hurt, and I'm sure that I will hurt after I wake up. I consider myself pretty tough, but I don't enjoy being in pain. I also don't want to be a burden on my husband. He really works hard and I don't want him to have to worry about taking care of me.

Next I'm worried about being hungry. Not that I have ever really been hungry because I don't that very many people in the US can say they have ever TRUELY been hungry. I've missed a few meals, but I've not been hungry. I think I am more worried about losing my realtionship with food. I have gone on fasts before for 3 days for religious reasons, but I still missed my "friend" food. I have decided that I will be doing alot of praying and working to replace my desire for food with my desire for knowing Jesus. I know that I eat sometimes, just because I am lonely or just board. THose are the times I need to seek HIM to fill my void instead of food.

Besides my need to fill the void in my heart with food, I am a little worried about knowing what to eat and when to eat, I know I will learn by living through it. I know will learn what I can eat and what I can't eat as I go. I will stick with the diet I am given.

I am worried about my kids and what they are going to do during the week that I am gone. So many arrangements to make with them before I leave.

I am worried about my patients and their healthcare while I am gone as well.

That brings me to my next worry... I'm worried about having fatigue after the surgery. I do so much for so many people and I hope that I will have the endurance to keep up my schedule. I push so hard all the time. I have to be able to keep up the same pace!!

I am worried mostly about being a failure. I have done so many diets and failed. I have counted every calorie in and out for months and lost only a few pounds. I know that my thyroid issues contribute to the slow weight loss and I wonder how that will affect my weight loss with this. Will I still be successful? Will I fail at this after going thru all of this trouble? The doctors assure me that it will not be a problem, but I still worry!!

Despite all my worries, I am going forward. I have faith that God will see me through this journey. I have been praying so much about this surgery and there are a few scriptures that continue to come to my mind. The first is :

"Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body," 1 Cor 6:19-20

I think of how I have not been honoring my body and taking care of the Holy Spirit's Temple. I pray I am going to have a new, remodled, healthy, beautiful temple to honor my Father in heaven.

The second scripture that has become so precious to me is :

Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalms 37:4

I have found that when I do delight in the Lord, my desires come into line with His desires. When my desires are in line with His desires, I find that my desires are granted. My desire at this time is to lose weight so that I can serve Him in a more energetic way. I pray that the surgery will help me to live a longer life so that I can grow old with my children, and my grandchildren and pass on HIs teachings to them and to raise them up in HIS way.

Tonight, I have ended a part of my life and tomorrow I begin a new. As for the little worries I will follow this advise:

"Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus." Phillipians 4:6-7

SO, Heres to PEACE!!