I am not much of a writer or a reader for that matter but I felt the need to write this journey down. I am scared. period. I have never had surgery and would not even consider Botox so how did I end up here? Well, I am tired. I am tired of all the things that someone who has struggled with their weight for 35 years. The fat clothes, the plane seats, being the fattest friend, the name calling, feet hurting, blood pressure, etc. My best friend had gastric bypass last year and I could see the all the struggles but the great rewards that have come with it. But I was still too scared. Then I went to a meeting for work. Out of about 40 people, I was the largest, by far, woman. And pretty hefty even tossing the men in. I had been with the company about two weeks. I was embarrassed. It was made worse by the article that was passed around about why people are fat. I wanted to crawl under the table. That was the last straw. I cried for about three nights over the meeting, frustration, how many times I have lost weight to gain it back and failed miserably. One night I had the breakdown. At that point I vowed to do whatever I needed to make the surgery happen. Yes I am still scared but I have hope now. My fingers are crossed....