I have always been a "plus sided" lady. Actually, I don't like the term "plus sized". I'm fat! Being a short 5'3" tall and over 300 lbs.. I'm fat. When younger I have tried the fad diets. The cabbage soup diet. The boiled hot dog diet. Done Richard Simmmons "sweating to the Oldies". I would loose a few pounds, get discouraged and give up. Giving up has gotten me to where I am today. A morbidly obese woman.

The past year I have put on at least 50 more pounds. And Man on man do I feel it! While I am upset with myself for getting this way I know only I can change the way I look, act and feel. I talked to my PCP about 2 months ago about the surgery. I need the extra help. I know that the odds of me doing this on my own at my age (41) would take forever and would not be as easy.

In the past week I have seen the surgeon for the initial consult,saw the dietitian, had my psych evaluation and tomorrow night go for a sleep study.

The dietitian said to cut back BIG time on carbs ( I love bread, crackers and pasta! Cheez Its call my name! ). I need to eat 4-5 small "meals" a day and each meal should contain approximately 25 grams of protein. Which to me is hard because I don't eat that much during the day. Night time is my pig out time. When my two children are in bed and my boyfriend goes to work ( he works third shift) I binge like there is no tomorrow. There have been nights I have actually eaten so much that I have gotten sick. I am not proud of this but did admit it to my boyfriend and the dietitian. I have been doing the high protein meals now for about two weeks. Today I kind of shocked myself. While eating dinner i ate half of the fish and said " I cant eat anymore. I'm full.". I never thought those words would come out of my mouth.

So, the journey for me to be healthier has begun. I'm excited, scared, anxious and ready!