UGH...why is it that today, Monday, of all days has to be like this. I mean really, one thing after another and then over again. My family doesn't realize, even though I have told them, that I am losing weight, yes, but I am still working on the mental part of it all. When I get angry, upset, sad, frustrated, feel hurt, etc...I still want to reach for that food...even though I'm not the least bit hungry.

I've been telling myself all dang day(don't know if you can swear on here) that you are not hungry, you don't want those chips, and that donut you've been thinking about...it's evil and won't taste good anyway.

It all started this morning and spiraled(is that how you spell it?) downward all day. ugh, I just want to cry...and that's another thing, HORMONES suck. YES they suck a$$(technically not swearing if it's with dollar signs!). I have wanted to cry all day, and then just get mad and yell, which nowadays makes me cry even more. OH MAN, I feel like I'm out of control on this roller coaster of emotions and I want to get off this ride.

This week my main focus is exercise and feeling better and getting below 200, that's where the scale is at the moment...and I will make this happen this week. I have to focus all those emotions, and such on getting below that 200 mark, and I know I can do this. If I focus on that I can get my thoughts in order and realize that I really don't want everything I have talked myself out of.

It's a vicious cycle, and I will break this, I will change my thoughts once and for all and realize that I am greater than this addiction I have been feeding for most of my adult life, and no amount of stress or frustration is going to make me fall off the wagon...it just can't, because I won't let it.

Stay true to your journey and thank you to everyone willing to share on this site, it means more than you could every know.