Yesterday I had my two little appointments for the month.

My nutritionist said I'm doing really well. I've lost 5lbs this month, with no exercise ( still on restriction from my PCP ). 5lbs!! That's nothing to most of the people around here, but to me it's a very good sign. For the last year I've been dieting and exercising and my body has been VERY resistant to let go of any weight. For some reason, this time, it's working. I was afraid my metabolism was so broken I'd be one of those people that basically doesn't lose at all. *whew*

Back to my appointment: I showed her my MFP tracking, she was pleased to see my numbers, and that I'm being thorough. I'm just happy to have found a system that works for me. Last month's goal was to stay away from fried foods. She labeled me a 'success' after I told her that French fries no longer taste good, they're just grease sticks to me. This month's goal is to try and work on my sweets problem. I admit, I'm a sweets junkie. Growing up, we always had cake or cookies or bars of some kind in the house, plus sweet things like granola bars and chocolate sauce for ice cream. There is ALWAYS ice cream at their house. My dad used to have a bowl every night just before bed. We all would.

Don't get me wrong here, I'm not blaming my parents for my weight problem. Yes, they've played a hand in it. When your 8 yr old says she's not comfortable in her body, please don't tell her "you're the only one who can change that". My parents are both obese. I have two sisters, one is severely obese, and the other one is a genetic mutant. That's the only explanation as to how she's 5'10'' tall and only weighs about 190. Don't misunderstand, she's the fattest thin person I know. She has very little muscle, no strength, and she sits down and eats a bag of potato chips and a container of ice cream for dinner. She just has that magical metabolism that keeps the weight off. Freak.

So goodbye, sweets. You've done nothing for me until this point except medicate the ache in my chest that you're partially responsible for. If anyone has read this, and has battled a sweets problem, do you have any pointers on how to move past it? Tricks you used to help curb cravings? I'm practicing more mindful eating, so that should help some. I've also started to have hard candies instead of cookies/treats in the house. They last a while in my mouth, and leave me feeling like I've had something sweet. Two of them and I'm pretty satiated.

Psych follow-up went very well. She said it looks like I'm in a really good place as far as my outlook and expectations for surgery. I'm hoping to lose more weight than the goal my team has given me, but I think that's okay. I'm hoping, but realistic about the statistics. Honestly? Even if I only lose to their goal, I will be VERY happy with myself and my surgery. I wouldn't be disappointed in the least! The biggest challenge I face right now is balancing school, doctor's appointments, work, and diet prep/surgery-related stuff. In the last two weeks I've had 9 doctor's appointments. Not all of them are surgery related, but let's just say my life is a little hectic right now.

I feel really good about how the appointments went. We scheduled my next nut appointment, and then the final one (which has to be with a nurse practitioner). Things should be all wrapped up and ready for 'team review' by November 5th. The dietician seemed hopeful that they'd be able to get me in before the end of the year.

2014, I'm going to make you my b***h.