Today is exactly 16 weeks since surgery & I’ve lost 55 lbs since then. That plus the 10 lbs I lost pre-op mean I am down a total so far of 65 lbs! 65.4 to be exact, but who’s counting lol.

I am excited! I am about 7 lbs away from being half way to goal. I am doing a lot of closet shopping, and now I realize if I don’t try on things frequently, I am in danger of several items becoming too big before I even get a chance to wear them! My sweet & generous husband thinks I should buy new stuff whenever I feel like it, even if I know I will only wear it a short time, & he says there are worse problems to have and that I should treat myself for having earned it. While I certainly agree with him in theory I cannot bring myself to go out and buy brand new things when I am not close to goal yet. I’m cruising ebay a lot. I have maxi dresses that I can wear quite a bit longer without them getting too obviously big, and a Donna Karan wrap dress that will just need to be wrapped tighter and tighter, but my pants and jeans…oh boy when you can take off your jeans without unbuttoning or unzipping them, you know they’re getting too big! So I need to get a smaller pair of jeans….and that’s where ebay comes in. I’m bidding on my favorite kind of Levi’s in the next smaller size and if I can get them for less than $20 I consider that a success.

I’m so grateful for the sleeve. I’ve really had no problems with it, except for a bout with stomach acid a few weeks ago. I’m managing it with OTC meds and hoping eventually I won’t have to take it much. If I do have to take it every day forever, then so be it. It’s a very small price to pay, in contrast to the laundry list of health problems that I was headed for with obesity.

My relationship with food has turned a compete 360. It is a bit of a mind trip though, because having loved food so much for all my 41 years, I still get excited about it. And then I eat it and after 4 bites I’m like “ugh, that’s enough”. So in some ways I feel like I live with a ghost – the memory of how satisfying stuffing myself used to be. And yet, now after a couple of bites I don’t want – can’t have – any more. (please note this is when following the "protein first" rule) It’s a very strange thing to wrap my head around -- this new ambiguous feeling about food, but it is actually a good thing. It’s what I wanted. I’ve always envied people whose lives weren’t driven by the urge to eat – food was always my obsession. When to eat, what to eat, when to eat next, what to eat if no one was there to see. Now I don’t have that uncontrollable urge, and it is lovely. I hope it lasts forever. I easily & happily stick to pretty paleo type eating, and have recently added one day a week where I have some good starch like whole grain bread. I think that revved my metabolism a bit, although I think it dampens my energy some on those days. I just don’t eat many carbs in the way of starches any more, and I absolutely do not miss them! I think I’ve had some dark chocolate maybe twice and my reaction was “meh” ....so why have it again? I have to say I am detoxed from refined sugar and thank God for it. I was a slave to sugar before. That evil is behind me and I do not ever ever want to let that monster out of its cage again. Because I fear sugar could sabotage me in the future, I am going to be very cautious about ever reintroducing it.

My husband, who really wasn’t entirely on board with me having the surgery, has recently talked quite a bit about how happy he is with how things are turning out Go figure. LOL. We bought a 42 lb thing of cat litter at Costco last week, and as he said “ooof!” while hefting it into the shopping cart, I said “Yeah, well I’ve lost 1 ½ the weight of that” and it Absolutely. Blew. His. mind. Now, that was more than a week ago, and he’s remarked on it several times since – contemplating the weight I used to carry like that really had an impact on him. I said, “now you understand why I never had energy, right? Aren’t you glad the 65 lbs is gone? And, think about me losing another 65 lbs! You’ll have to put a tether on me or I might just float away!!” LOL Really, my energy has gotten so much better and I’m less than half way there….it is hard to imagine how good I’m going to feel when I get to goal!

(please do note that I say ‘when’ not ‘if’)

I’m stoked. I had a great week, and a great month. I track the patterns in my weight loss – regardless of intake or working out, every third week it flat lines. I accept it. The big picture is important; meeting mini goals are important. Meeting goals that are not related to numbers on a scale are important too. I’m all over this!

Onward!