So it has been 6 weeks and 6 days since surgery! I have lost a total of 35 pounds since surgery! Pretty impressive and I am 3 pounds from my first mini goal of 220. It has been over 8 years since I have weighed that and I was 13 weeks pregnant with my first child. It was my first weigh in and pre natal Dr. appt. and I was SHOCKED I weighed that much! Now I am so excited to see that number! Talk about perspective! I remember crying the whole way home! Now those tears will be joy!

Well on to the NOW!

The things that I am dealing with as I am more healed and eating "normal"...

I am losing and I get to the point of feeling "normal" and dare I say comfortable. Then I get on here read something and get all paranoid and start 2nd guessing myself. I know that we are all different in how we lose weight, how we got to the point of choosing surgery, and how we will lose with surgery. The common thread here is we are all/were obese and we all had sleeve surgery. I have been not getting on this site and fining my own way. I want to continue to document my feelings but I am at the stage were I need to find a comfortable way to live and still lose the weight. Now, having said that this site has helped me so much! I kind of take the good and the bad and try to filter the crap out. I am not blaming this site for my doubt but ME for letting myself get caught up with this site and not listening to my body and my medical team. Since surgery I have NEVER been told by my NUT or Doctor to eat low carb high protein diet. Aim for 60-80 grams of protein and 64oz of water yes but no limit on carbs. I don't usually have room for more than a bite anyway. They said protein first, veggies/fruit, and then carb. Make good choices and eat a balanced diet. They never said restrict calories to such and such a day, do not eat over 1/4 or whatever cups of food. They said everyone is different and gave me a chart of what their average patient eats after surgery and at what stage. They did talk to me about sliders and how no one even people who haven't had surgery should avoid these foods. I am pretty smart and I know healthy meals from crap so I don't know why I think because I eat a piece of bread one day that I have sabatoged my weight loss and will FAIL!

So yes the last few weeks have been plagued with this self doubt! I am working through that!

I have had some pretty big losses! The first week I lost 14 pounds! This week I lost 5! But I also have had the dreaded stall! I lost nothing and even gained a pound around week 3 into 4! But it came off and ironically the next day after I ate the evil carb infested multi grain toast for breakfast! go figure.

Hunger has come back but it is different. The first month I don't think I was ever really hungry. had some head hunger but nothing more than that. The past couple of weeks I do get hungry but it's not that crazy hungry where I will want to eat a horse! It just a tiny little pang in my tummy and chest. If I don't heed the warning and eat a bite I get shaky and get very run down. These hunger pangs don't happen everyday. Some days I feel like not eating at all. I never get hungry and never really want food. I am making myself eat something on those days. Then some days I feel like my body needs the food and I eat more on those days. Food taste better on those days too! I followed this trend last week. On the days I felt hunger and felt I needed food I lost and days I didn't want food and didn't eat hardly anything I didn't lose. I only usually weigh once a week but it was an experiement last week! It was interesting and taught me what I already knew! My body knows best! So while I am not an expert on weight loss surgery or how to lose the most weight and fast I do know MY body. So this week I am going to listen to it and see how things go. Oh I still like my little piece of chocolate in the evening! I don't eat it every night but I will not ever let myself feel guilty when I do from here on out! This self doubt and guilt crap was before and I will not let it get the best of me now!