Ok, so let me tell you how I was SUPER nervous this weekend. So if you dont know anything about me (and i dont think you do) I love rollercoasters, love, love, love them, and it has been a very depressing past couple of years for me becuase I have been too big to ride them.... which mind you is the worse feeling in the world. I mean standing in line for an hour laughing and joking with your frineds to finally get to the coaster and not be able to close the harness.... its deflating, then whats even worse is to have to get off the coaster turn around and look at not only the 40 people on the coaster waiting to take off but the hundreds that are in line looking at you looking at them.... oh man its terrible.

anyway this weekend we went to six flags and while bobbing around in the lazy river.... super cool if you dont have one, its this 1/2 mile long river that runs around the water park, but its got jets and sprinklers and all kind of stuff in it... amazing, but anyway in bobbing around in the river my girl and I are talking and she tells me that she has been avioding going to six flags because she wants to ride the rides with me and a lot of them i cant fit on..... i'm not sure what hurt worse getting off the ride in front of all of those people, or knowing that I am the reason that someone else I love is not doing something that they want to do. Anyway I try to shake off any bad feelings becuase i dont want to ruin the day anymore. So internally i'm having a fight with myself, do i run the risk of the embarrassment of getting asked to leave the ride or do i just deal with the hurt of knowing that i am keeping my love from doing what she love because of my size?

What would you do?

I end up saying to myself my embarrassment is nothing compared to the hurt and shame i feel because i how i'ver held her back and decided i am going to try and get on the coaster. Well, we head over to the theme park and find a ride, get in line for about 15 minutes and don't you know it started to rain and thunder really bad, so of course they shut the coasters down, we found a bench and waited 45 mintues to see if it would pass, when it didnt we decided we needed to go home and would try again another day.

I would love to say that this story ended in a happy ending plummeting 200 feet to the earth at 60 MPH but the truth is it didn't. It didnt end the way we wanted it to, but what it did do was inspire, motivate, bring to light the darkness that was hiding within. what it did do was make me realize how this weight that i have been carrying is not only affecting me, but affecting the people i love, I promise you this, once this suregery comes I will NEVER see this weight again.

Thanks for listening have a great day.

#SuperHighlyMotivated