ANGER. I was talking to a woman the other day online that expressed that every time she gets through one test, another one is ordered as she tries to get to surgery. She is disgusted after being in the process for over 7 months. I really felt bad for her, so I reached out to her in a private message, because I had the same thing happen to me. I remember that I had spoken with a friend of mine who was telling me how really easy-a-time he had going in to get the surgery and that you just have to do the testing bulls**t and get it over with, but to stay focused on the goal of getting the surgery done. So, I was trying to do that. Then I had an insurance change, and my surgeon wasn't covered. Then I had to have another set of tests because the new surgeon had specific people she wanted to get her information through. All this back and forth in time and gas leaves a patient feeling less than dazzled over the image we have over the end product - ME, in my case. So this made me think about it harder - why am I getting mad over something that has to be done? If a surgeon is requesting certain tests, it isn't for fun or anything - it's because they need those answers. Then it hit me - the reason I got angry was because every time I had to take MORE time to get ANOTHER test done my "DREAM" was farther away. And THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is PRECISELY the point I am coming to. Instead of living in my head (which I admit I do in a lot of areas of my life) I needed to get to the *REALITY* (Oh, how I HATE, LOATHE and DESPISE that word) of what I am about to put my body through. TIME - it took time to get this fat and it will take time to get everything lined up to help me get this weight off. That's life. Too bad. Move forward. And so, with this realization, and a little bit of patience, and total focus on ME - I move forward at a pace over which I have little to no control, and with gratitude of having this opportunity at all to begin with, and with HOPE that when the time finally arrives and I'm about to get an IV placed for surgery, I will finally be ACTUALLY ready in every way that I could before such a huge change with so many personally experienced unknowns. And I encourage everyone to do the same in their own journey. Till next time... (and with less huffing and puffing or frustration) Ciao!