I'm my own worst enemy
Tomorrow will be 1 week post op. I'm more tired than I realized I would be, in fact - pure exhaustion. Since I'm not physically sore anymore, it's hard to stop and realize that I just had MAJOR surgery. My incisions are healing so in my head I'm thinking "I'm fine"! But I'm not. I'm tired. All. The. Time. A lack of calories isn't helping but I'm doing my best to control that with constant shakes at my side. After doing some research to see if I'm "normal" I've come to the conclusion that I'm expecting too much and I'm my own worst enemy. Part of this is my "I'm ok, everything is fine" exterior I've exuded all my life that I'm working on changing (thank you to my therapist). Part of it is "what will everyone think that I'm just laying around" syndrome. Bottom line - I'm at a place where I just don't care. I have to rest. My body is begging me to. So, I will. And I am. And I do. This too shall pass, and I will look back on this period of time and wish I would have slowed down more. But, just in case, I am calling the Center on Tuesday just to touch base and let them know, cuz that's also how I roll. If you need me, I'll be over here sleeping.
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