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I'm my own worst enemy

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smryan

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Tomorrow will be 1 week post op. I'm more tired than I realized I would be, in fact - pure exhaustion. Since I'm not physically sore anymore, it's hard to stop and realize that I just had MAJOR surgery. My incisions are healing so in my head I'm thinking "I'm fine"! But I'm not. I'm tired. All. The. Time. A lack of calories isn't helping but I'm doing my best to control that with constant shakes at my side. After doing some research to see if I'm "normal" I've come to the conclusion that I'm expecting too much and I'm my own worst enemy. Part of this is my "I'm ok, everything is fine" exterior I've exuded all my life that I'm working on changing (thank you to my therapist). Part of it is "what will everyone think that I'm just laying around" syndrome. Bottom line - I'm at a place where I just don't care. I have to rest. My body is begging me to. So, I will. And I am. And I do. This too shall pass, and I will look back on this period of time and wish I would have slowed down more. But, just in case, I am calling the Center on Tuesday just to touch base and let them know, cuz that's also how I roll. If you need me, I'll be over here sleeping.

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I was surprised at the exhaustion too. I'm always the resilient one! This is big surgery. I needed to take 2 weeks off (I only thought 1 week max) and it took the first 4 weeks to not feel somewhat fragile. I tried to listen to my body and take it easy when I got home from work. By 8 weeks I was doing pool exercise 3X a week and walking. At 8 weeks there were moments I was worried because I actually forgot about my sleeve. It does get better.

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It has been 11 days since my surgery, I remain exhausted too. Pain is very little but I can not stop sleeping. I walk 25 minutes a day, and then sleep a great deal of the rest of the day.I was going to go back to work after 2 weeks, but working 12 hour night shifts, there is no way I am ready. I am ususally one who bounces back fast, but this has kicked my rear. I tried to go to a party yesterday. Stayed for an hour and left only to sleep the rest of the afternoon and night. I am only eating about 400-500 cals a day and maybe this is why, but wow, I would like my energy back. I hope we get it back soon.

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