Yeah. Ok. I suck at journals.

It has been AGES since I made an entry - but since have passed my first year, I thought I would make some observations and mark some of the things I have learned:

1) I am incredibly spoiled and lazy. The urge to continue on letting my band do all the work is strong - but my inclination to immediate gratification is leading me toward a better path. Exercise will have to be more frequent and desserts will have to be more infrequent... The same old crap I have been hearing since birth... but for the last few weeks, the scale has been rewarding me for good behavior. I can't knock it if it's working. Between February 6, 2006 and my annual appt on Feb 6, 2007, I went from 331 to 295 - a loss of 36 pounds. Since my annual follow-up in 2007 - I have lost another 5 pounds. My unofficial weight this morning - 290.

2) I used to eat a HECK of a lot of food... I had somehow convinced myself that I wasn't eating much more than your average joe - but I know now that I was. I had no concept of what a portion size ought to be... and really, I am still struggling with that - but I am getting closer. It has taken over a year - but my eyes/head are finally starting to sync up with my band. Now, I only think my portion should be twice as big as needed... LOL! I find that if I plate up HALF of what I think the portion should be, I am satisfied and don't need to eat more.

3) I am starting to recognize the point at which I should just set my fork down and stop eating. Now, this doesn't mean that I actually DO stop all the time (Damned Pizza!) but at least I can tell when I should. At this moment, restriction is not such that I am forced to stop, or that I have pain or anything like that if I eat past the satiation point - but I am hoping for a more punative effect with my next fill. I am not very disciplined. (see #1 - spoiled and lazy)

4) Exercise is really not optional. If I don't go to the gym, I don't lose weight - or at least not much - even if I am trying to "diet". For me, eating perfectly is much less important that hitting the gym for 30 minutes at least 4 times a week.

5) I need to figure out how to eat more Band Effectively in restaurants. I travel for a week every month - so I spend the week of travel eating like a huge monster pig - and the following week (or TWO) getting back to where I had been before the trip. That means that AT BEST, I am only working toward goal for two weeks of the month - and I don't really do well on the weekends - so that means about 10 days a month of active dieting. It's not exactly shocking that my loss has been slow. If you factor my loss into 120 days instead of 365 - it makes total sense. I lost about a 3rd of a pound for every day of active dieting in my first year - very much what my docs told me to expect - a 3rd of a pound a day, or about 2 pounds a week.

I guess that is about all that I have learned so far. I know I still have a great deal of learning to do. I also have a great deal of work to do yet.

At a third of a pound per day, I still need to do 375 active dieting days to get near to goal. But my goal has actually changed a bit. My doc referred me to the "Aftercare" program at AIGB. The gal there measured my body fat on her little magic zinger scale and found that I have a body fat percentage a bit over 56%. (ICK) According to her calculations, I need to lose another 125 pounds. I was thinking 140 lbs - but if my lean mass is anywhere close to what she calculates, I would be beyond skinny with only like 5% body fat or something like that. I am never going there. So, my new goal is to weigh 168 lbs - and as ever, I will be happy with anything under 200. My true goal is to wear a size 14, or *gasp* maybe even a size 12. It doesn't sound very ambitious - but I haven't worn anything from a "normal" store since I was 18 yrs old. For now, that's the most that I can imagine. We'll see how it goes when I get there.

The other part of the After Care program was exactly what you would expect - grilling on my daily & life habits with some gentle persuasion to reform. I guess it was more a way for me to focus in on what I need to do. If it keeps me from totally losing control - then it's worth taking one afternoon a month off. Besides, I had pretty much already come to the conclusion that reform was necessary to satisfy my Immediate Gratification urge. I am ready to work the band, again.

NSV's:

1) Airplane travel without extenders - not always - but sometimes.

2) Wearing clothes that have been hanging in my closet for months or years cause I loved them, but they were too small.

3) Walking without pain & with no trace of the fat lady waddle. No longer uncomfortable or afraid to swing my hips and walk like a girl.

4) Fitting into chairs - mostly. I still hit the side of the chairs at the theater - but at least it doesn't HURT anymore.

5) Not choked by my seatbelt anymore. I can actually pull a good foot of excess belt away from my body!

So, after a year + 23 days - that's all I know. Onward! Maybe I will journal again a little sooner. We'll have to see how that goes, too.