My momentive is slowing down. Does that mean I throw in the towel and forget it? Nope. But I will admit I am having a little problem staying on track. I have lost 13lbs on my self imposed pre surgery diet. I am already practicing for life after surgery. It has been pretty easy for the most part, but I have had a little bit of backsliding. I am not talking chocolate cake and pizza kind of backsliding. But I have overindulged in some of my "healthy" choices. Too much cheese, too many protein bars. Today I had an errand to run at lunch. I had already come into work late, so I needed to grab something quick. Taco Bell ( not normally a choice for ANYTHING healthy) had the protein bowls/ burritos this summer. The chicken bowl is pretty low calorie and good protein. I would even allow myself a "cheat" of guacamole & chips with it. Well I get into the drive thru ( this one is designed that once you enter you cannot exit) and low and behold the protein items are gone! Ugh!!! I went with the cantina bell menu as a back up option and got the chicken bowl. But I really wanted the guacamole and chips, so I got the combo. MISTAKE. First off they screwed up the order and I ended up with a side of guac and a side of salsa- plus TWO bags of chips. Then my bowl just was NOT what I wanted. I realized the Cantina bowl is very similar to the protein bowl, just bigger and loaded with white rice. I should have never ate the chips, but I ended up eating most of them with the guacamole. Then I started to eat the bowl. After about a third of it I realized I was full. A guess a small victory in the fact I stopped eating it. In the past I would have ate every bite because I paid for it! But today it was just not what I wanted and I was able to easily stop eating when I was full. ( side note- I realized after the fact I had ate more than "just full" as I sit here with a rock in my stomach) I debated whether to keep the rest and eat later but decided to just pitch it. Why eat something that was not what I had intended in the first place? So now my quick food options (pre op) are even further limited. My other issue is with eating fast/drinking with meals. I know both of these things will have to be changed once I have surgery. I really, really need to practice both now to get into the groove. Yet I keep putting it off. I can eat sometimes w/o drinking. But not all meals. And I still eat way too fast and too large of bites. I need to get used to chewing my food to oblivion and pausing between bites. Otherwise I will have a very rude awakening if I forget to do this post op! I guess my biggest problem right now is time. Having to wait to get to the next step in my journey. Knowing that I will worry until I hear my insurance has approved me for surgery. Not knowing if I will be able to get the surgery when I hoped. ( original goal was October) Just a lot of variables that are out of my control. I won't go as far as say I am a control freak, but I do feel better when I can create my destiny. ( at least in something as life changing as this) I just want to get there. I want to be past the "scary" parts and get to living the life I dream of....