Today is my fourth day of my 3 week pre-op diet. My diet is supposed to consist of a protein shake for breakfast, a protein shake for lunch, a protein food source and salad for dinner, and a third protein shake before bed if needed. It hasn't been too difficult although I have to admit that I have cheated. Here is a list of my sins:

1st day - for dinner I had egg salad which I ate with bell peppers as a scoop. When I ran out of my serving of bell peppers I used a few rice crackers to finish up the egg salad.

2nd day - same as 1st day

3rd day - instead of egg salad for dinner I had cod. Instead of 1 serving/fillet, I had 2. But three-quarters of the way into it I realized it was too much. I ate with my eyes, not my stomach.

Overeating because the food is there is something I am working on. When I have the sleeve I will not be able to stuff myself like I used to. One extra bite could mean terrible side-affects. I will really have to listen to my body.

Although I called it cheating and "sinning" I don't feel bad about what I have done. This is a practice run for after the surgery and it is hard not to make a mistake after all my years of making mistakes constantly in regards to eating. You can't unlearn habits in 3 days. But I am trying. You better believe it. I know I will be successful with the sleeve. There's no other option. But my degree and speed of success depends on my ability to unlearn ingrained habits. And I WILL unlearn those dastardly ways. Enough is enough. I am worth every step of this journey. I am worth all the struggles ahead and I will come out at the end a healthier me.