Well, as I approach 12 weeks post op I am struggling with my looks. I have lost about 50 lbs since the surgery and certainly my body is changing. I have been swimming and walking all summer but I haven't really hit the gym.

Two theories I have about my displeasure with my current body:

1) When I weighted nearly 300 lbs I had totally given up. I didn't look at myself in the mirror at all and I didn't care that I had to wear tents for clothes. Now I look in the mirror a few times a day. I see my breasts deflating and feel like a melting snowman. But it means that I haven't given up on myself anymore. I actually care. It sucks to feel bad, but it is better than just feeling numb.

2) My body isn't shedding lbs evenly. My waist has nicely decreased but my hips haven't moved so it makes my hips look even larger than before b/c the proportions are so far off. So hopefully if I get more general cardio into my life things will even out.

It sucks that I can't celebrate loosing this weight. People keep telling me how great I look, and I just beat myself up for still having to squeeze my fat a$$ into a size 18.

Well hopefully I'll keep working on these negative feelings and turn them around quickly.