I GOT GAS - AND IT IS TELLING ON ME.... FUNNY BUT TRUE.
Before my surgery, I used to stop at Buffalo Wild Wings (BWW) on my way home from work. I work many many hours (70+ a week or more) so I come home late a lot. I got in the habit of stopping off at BWW on the way home for a few. But I had a system - Here was my thinking -
(1) Tuesday is wing night with discount prices - 40% off means 40% off, so I ate an extra 40% of wings for the same calories. I am pretty sure that is the 4th law of thermo dynamics. I could be wrong. I think it depends on the sauce (go with "hot" flavor to get all of Einstein's relativity benefits, I know he is not the king of Thermodyanics, but you always get points for dropping his name)
(2) Then if you used a discount card, or had a gift card, they were "FREE" - well, those don't count…
(3) And we all know that all the calories are in the bones, so getting boneless wings was practically like eating lettuce.
Well, here was the problem. BWW was a smoking establishment – so I would come home smoky and the wife would ask, “Did you stop at Buffalo?” to which I would say no! Since she was obviously referring to a small town in upstate New York. And I had not been THERE!
Nonetheless, busted is busted.
Until, the great god of fried chicken intervened. They did a huge bar remodel and in order to get the building permit, they had to go No-smoking inside. Wheeeee! Now I am in high cotton. I can stop off and not get caught.
Of course, the sleeve surgery drastically changed my eating and beer consumption habits. So I was not covered in mango hanenero or Asian Zing sauce anymore. And not having a “few” beers. But I could still hang with my late night buds, tell horrible lies about all kinds of things – like girls, and golf handicaps, and girls, and how much money we make and girls… (we talk a lot about girls- go figure)
But like all great things, there was a catch. And we are going to get just a bit 12 year old boy potty humor here (or as I like to call it) unexpected sleeve side-affects.
Here is the deal – and tell me if I am a freak or weird (in this way only, I know I am an odd ball) – About 30 days after surgery I had a change in my “habits?” I have become North America’s 2nd largest producer of methane gas, second only to the entire US cattle industry. And of course as a guy, this is not a drawback – it is something to be proud of.
Also it is a useful tool. Dog in the bed, not being still? No problem, I can get him to leave without even rolling over. Trapped in a frozen cabin in Alaska? I can keep a family of 6 warm for over a week (assuming they survive).
So, the problem … Came home late, had a “bit” of gas the next morning (knocked both dogs out of the bed) – but more importantly – “the cloud”, honest to goodness, had a distinct mango hanenero “after burn.”
I was busted again. TWO FRICKIN’ NAKED (GRILLED) TENDERS AND AN ICE TEA –
Unfortunately, you cannot blame wing sauce on a dog.
I took out the trash and washed her car twice…. HOPE YOU ARE LAUGHING..... LIFE IS TOO SHORT NOT TO LAUGH - ESPECIALLY AT ME.
Before my surgery, I used to stop at Buffalo Wild Wings (BWW) on my way home from work. I work many many hours (70+ a week or more) so I come home late a lot. I got in the habit of stopping off at BWW on the way home for a few. But I had a system - Here was my thinking -
(1) Tuesday is wing night with discount prices - 40% off means 40% off, so I ate an extra 40% of wings for the same calories. I am pretty sure that is the 4th law of thermo dynamics. I could be wrong.
(2) Then if you used a discount card, or had a gift card, they were "FREE" - well, those don't count…
(3) And we all know that all the calories are in the bones, so getting boneless wings was practically like eating lettuce.
Well, here was the problem. BWW was a smoking establishment – so I would come home smoky and the wife would ask, “Did you stop at Buffalo?” to which I would say no! Since she was obviously referring to a small town in upstate New York. And I had not been THERE!
Nonetheless, busted is busted.
Until, the great good of fried chicken intervened. They did a huge bar remodel and in order to get the building permit, they had to go No-smoking inside. Wheeeee! Now I am in high cotton. I can stop off and not get caught.
Of course, the sleeve surgery drastically changed my eating and beer consumption habits. So I was not covered in mango hanenero or Asian Zing sauce anymore. And not having a “few” beers. But I could still hang with my late night buds, tell horrible lies about all kinds of things – like girls, and golf handicaps, and girls, and how much money we make and girls… (we talk a lot about girls- go figure)
But like all great things, there was a catch. And we are going to get just a bit 12 year old boy potty humor here (or as I like to call it) unexpected sleeve side-affects.
Here is the deal – and tell me if I am a freak or weird (in this way only, I know I am an odd ball) – About 30 days after surgery I had a change in my “habits?” I have become North America’s 2nd largest producer of methane gas, second only to the entire US cattle industry. And of course as a guy, this is not a drawback – it is something to be proud of.
Also it is a useful tool. Dog in the bed, not being still? No problem, I can get him to leave without even rolling over. Trapped in a frozen cabin in Alaska? I can keep a family of 6 warm for over a week (assuming they survive).
So, the problem … Came home late, had a “bit” of gas the next morning (knocked both dogs out of the bed) – but more importantly – “the cloud”, honest to goodness, had a distinct mango hanenero “after burn.”
I was busted again. TWO FRICKIN’ NAKED (GRILLED) TENDERS AND AN ICE TEA –
Unfortunately, you cannot blame wing sauce on a dog.
I took out the trash and washed her car twice….
Before my surgery, I used to stop at Buffalo Wild Wings (BWW) on my way home from work. I work many many hours (70+ a week or more) so I come home late a lot. I got in the habit of stopping off at BWW on the way home for a few. But I had a system - Here was my thinking -
(1) Tuesday is wing night with discount prices - 40% off means 40% off, so I ate an extra 40% of wings for the same calories. I am pretty sure that is the 4th law of thermo dynamics. I could be wrong.
(2) Then if you used a discount card, or had a gift card, they were "FREE" - well, those don't count…
(3) And we all know that all the calories are in the bones, so getting boneless wings was practically like eating lettuce.
Well, here was the problem. BWW was a smoking establishment – so I would come home smoky and the wife would ask, “Did you stop at Buffalo?” to which I would say no! Since she was obviously referring to a small town in upstate New York. And I had not been THERE!
Nonetheless, busted is busted.
Until, the great good of fried chicken intervened. They did a huge bar remodel and in order to get the building permit, they had to go No-smoking inside. Wheeeee! Now I am in high cotton. I can stop off and not get caught.
Of course, the sleeve surgery drastically changed my eating and beer consumption habits. So I was not covered in mango hanenero or Asian Zing sauce anymore. And not having a “few” beers. But I could still hang with my late night buds, tell horrible lies about all kinds of things – like girls, and golf handicaps, and girls, and how much money we make and girls… (we talk a lot about girls- go figure)
But like all great things, there was a catch. And we are going to get just a bit 12 year old boy potty humor here (or as I like to call it) unexpected sleeve side-affects.
Here is the deal – and tell me if I am a freak or weird (in this way only, I know I am an odd ball) – About 30 days after surgery I had a change in my “habits?” I have become North America’s 2nd largest producer of methane gas, second only to the entire US cattle industry. And of course as a guy, this is not a drawback – it is something to be proud of.
Also it is a useful tool. Dog in the bed, not being still? No problem, I can get him to leave without even rolling over. Trapped in a frozen cabin in Alaska? I can keep a family of 6 warm for over a week (assuming they survive).
So, the problem … Came home late, had a “bit” of gas the next morning (knocked both dogs out of the bed) – but more importantly – “the cloud”, honest to goodness, had a distinct mango hanenero “after burn.”
I was busted again. TWO FRICKIN’ NAKED (GRILLED) TENDERS AND AN ICE TEA –
Unfortunately, you cannot blame wing sauce on a dog.
I took out the trash and washed her car twice….
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