The C word
CHANGE I've been asking myself - why is change so scary? What is it about change that makes us worry about it, and even avoid it? Especially if that change could be the best thing that ever happened to us? What I've come to realize, is that it isn't the change itself that is frightening. It's that we aren't sure if we'll like what we get through change. I've been reading a lot of and watching a lot of you tube videos by people who have had various bariatric surgeries. I've been trying to see the perspective of this choice through others eyes. But I've also come to realize that it's impossible for me to gauge their experience, because I don't live their lives. And they aren't me. Some people have never even had surgery of any kind - and then they end up having to get this surgery for their long term health. I have to say goodbye to my incessant need to eat everything on my plate, my need to bake as a form of recreating my childhood before my mom died, my need to depend on my weight to make me feel safe, and my need to control change through food. Instead I need to let change happen and separate it from food and from control. Let's face it: the only choice we really have is to make a choice in the first place.
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