I'm starting this blog for myself, and If anyone wants to reply, give me some advise, or just say hello I can use the encouragement. I'm off to Mexico soon (I hope) I was thinking first week of October, then said if I don't do it sooner I will chicken out. I've read the horror stories, and I've read the success stories, and I'm praying to be a success story. I've battled my weight most of my adult life and I'm done being stuck in this body that doesn't allow me freedom. I've been think, I've been fat, and I've been obese.... I think I've heard about a million diets, and I know for a fact I've tried them all.... people will always offer advise on how to lose the weight, my answer to them is simple I know how to lose the weight,, I've done it one thousand times, it's keeping it off that I have trouble with. Sometimes I look in the mirror and I say to myself "you don't look over 220 lbs (I'm 221 as of this morning) however, yesterday I went to get a temporary pass to get on the air base, and when she took my pictures I didn't know who was staring back at me... It was at that moment when I walked to my car, crying, I was going through with the surgery. I have saved, sold things, and am getting an extra job for three weeks to pay for the rest. Anything has to be better than living in this hell, and never going out, doing anything and avoiding as many people as possible.... I'm done,,,, I am going to be happy and live life again........ (I will post the pic that was taken of me on base yesterday) even if no one reads this blog, I will keep it for me, as i'm going to Mexico alone (I hope to meet some new friends when I arrive in San diego airport) So, one day, I'll sit my adult girls down and let them read this blog....... because come one.... if I told my girls, mother, or sisters and friends. HEY, I've decided to fly into san diego, drive across the boarder with a stranger, who will take me to a hotel in a country I've never been to, and lets face it has not got a good rep. here in the USA... and then I'll meet with my Doctor the day before, do some pre-op, and yes, I shall have surgery the next day,,,,, THEY"D lock me up~~~