Seven weeks since surgery. I only lost a pound and a half since last week. Yeah, I’ll admit it: I’m kinda bummed. Obviously I’ve gotten spoiled to 4 & 5 lb losses each week. Spoiled rotten! I’m doing all the same things….so I guess it’s time to do some different things, huh? Tonight I’m going to a Pilates class. I loved Pilates back in the day. I may hate it tonight, but I'm sure I will love it again eventually

I work in an accounting office, so I live my life in Excel. I have a spreadsheet tracking and projecting my weight loss. Really nerdy, eh? It’s my own special way of obsessing My average loss is -1.59% per week. That’s my AVERAGE, slightly inflated because the first and second weeks were big losses. But there’s this pattern that every 3^rd week (well it’s an apparent pattern…it’s only been 7 weeks so far) my weight loss is miniscule. Perhaps this is tied to my TOM, which is roughly every 24 days (yes, this does suck). ANYways….could also just be the good old fashioned roller coaster that is major weight loss. It’s funny too, because in my past life, when this kind of thing would happen, I would throw in the towel and eat whatever I wanted, then feel like crap and not be active. Not gonna do that this time. Just gonna ride this old roller coaster.

I’m frustrated because I wanted to be sooooo different immediately after surgery, as far as my weight, size, and energy. In some ways, I was different right away. The snoring stopped pretty quickly. Husband is significantly less grouchy for that I’m in clothes I haven’t worn in a while. I’m taking the dog out hiking 6 evenings a week. I no longer feel completely hopeless.

But I want MORE energy. I want MORE weight loss. I want to feel stronger, faster. I want to get to the point where I can no longer go closet shopping and need to go real shopping. That’s why the Excel spreadsheet is fun….I have formulas set up to where I can see on any particular day in the future where I might be if I continue on this average weight loss. Other columns are set up to show if my weight loss rate increases or decreases…..

We are planning a trip to the east coast (this is a huge trip for us from our home in Hawaii), and there is a possibility that if I could be in onederland by that trip. OMG. That would be awesome. However, living “in the now” as reality forces me to do, I am still stuck feeling obese and drained right now. Things are changing, but I wish they’d change faster. It’s funny how I got myself mentally prepared for surgery as if it were an end in itself in some ways. Reading the boards, I suspect a lot of folks are that way. But after surgery, life goes on. Surgery was drastic, but the weight loss can be gradual. I know it’s all perception, and that in a couple of months when I’ve lost more and my life is incrementally that much different, I will feel better about it.

Perhaps I’m just melancholy this week in general.

I am reminding myself that all things considered, I am in a much better place than I was at the beginning of May, right before surgery. And it stands to reason that in as many weeks in the future, I will feel that much better. I’ve just got to keep working. I will do this.

Onward