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Secrets

kw2walker

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I was sitting around today thinking about my surgery and those that have been supportive and those that have not or would not be.

 

A year ago when I began thinking about undergoing the surgery I approached a friend. I began asking his opinion about the surgery. when he said you don't need it you just need to diet and keep at it. I sat looking at him as if he had lost his mind, he is over six feet tall and grossly over weight. He has a bad habit of eating food from the plate of his son when he does not finish his meal. But he knows my diet habits?

 

I let the subject drop and have not said word about it since. I went to my information session to decide if this was the choice for me and was encouraged that it was.

 

As the year has gone by he has seen me and is always in my cabinets. He is quick to notice there is not any junk food or bad snacks. He noticed the various protein drinks and asked what I was doing with them. I told him i was experimenting with favors and staying my course on my diet.

 

All of this to say is that I am keeping secrets from those that are friends. I don't want to be judged by them even when I feel I have been judged.

 

One of my own sisters thinks I should just keep dieting and that the surgery is extreme. My feeling is that of course she would she's never been obese.

 

To be fair I have told five people and they have been most supportive and from this I am happy. My overall happiness is my responsibility and I'm very happy with my decision to a better way of living.

 

I do worry that once I start dropping weight that the cat will be out of the bag. But until that time I will be keeping my secret.

 

 

 



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I also chose to not tell anyone for almost the exact same reasons. The only people I have told so far are my immediate family and my co-workers who see me on a daily basis. I don't want to be judged. I don't want them all staring at me every time they see me to see how much weight I've lost. And there is a small part of me that was afraid that this, like every other diet I have tried, will not work, and then I will be judged even more. Eventually, people will notice, and I will not lie about my surgery, but for now, I am keeping it to myself.

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It's your body and you can do with it whatever you please. You don't owe anyone an explanation! You can tell as much or as little as you are comfortable with. I've been very open about WLS it's just easier for me to be honest so I never worry about who I told what to. You'll have to do what ever feels natural to you. I found people to be very supportive when they learn I had surgery. A lot of people have questions about it and how it works, including people who are obese and are afraid to take the step we took. Do what you need to do for your health. Good luck, and there is plenty of support on this site!

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Personally, I am a "teller". If there is anyone in my life who has had negative or judgmental thoughts, they have (wisely) kept those thoughts to themselves. I have received a huge amount of support, encouragement, praise, and love from every corner. However, I believe that we must each do whatever we need to in order to ensure our success with this tool. If that means limiting the amount of people you tell, then limit away & don't let anybody tell you that keeping a secret is bad or wrong. There is no one "right" way, it's just what is best for each of us. Good luck to you!

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I to have kept it quiet. I have only told two people I work with and that is all other than my family. I guess I have all the same worries of what if it doesn't work and some that would say if you just tried harder. I am 52 and was put on my first diet at 6. I have lost and gained everything many times over. People that don't have a weight problem just don't understand. I hope this is the tool I need to be very successful. Good luck and hope we both reach our goals.

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I told only my husband, 2 very close friends & only the human resource person at work. I too didn't want to be judged or watched. When folks ask me how I lost, if i choose to tell them anything, i just tell them I'm on a journey to get & stay healthy through Exercise & healthier eating.

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Thank you all for your thoughts and encouragement.

I contacted HR to get the paperwork needed in preparation the July 22, 2013 surgery, so when I attend my pre-op testing on July 3, 2013 I can get my FMLA paperwork completed.

I do believe if I am asked point blank if I had surgery I could be honest and say yes, but i don't plan to volunteer any information.

Continued success on your journey!

Karen

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Ok, i hear you. But no on should really come out and ask you that at work. It's inappropriate and it's protected under the HIPAA law.

I told my HR person to get the my paperwork & FMLA approved thinking she would know what was going on when she received the paperwork from my doctor. Later found out I didn't have to tell here because my doctor only wrote "abdominal surgery." But oh well, the HR rep is sworn to secrecy.

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In the past, when completing my FMLA/HR paper work I would indicate surgery. I only have to tell my insurance company because they have a representative contact me to ensure I have completed all paperwork, and arranged follow-up appointments.

I know the HIPAA law allows for me to keep my surgery my business.

Thank you Private Sleever for your comments.

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