My mom is visiting from San Antonio and although I look forward to these times they are stressful. my interest in food skyrockets when she is around. At this point in my life i know it is not her doing but my own internal associations. I have worked on this for decades and manage not to eat but my head is constantly fighting me.

I remember the first time I went to visit and gained no weight that was a victory. It is harder when she is here for she usually stays a couple of weeks and her mood can fluctuate from pleasant to difficult to get along.

So far I have almost made it 20 hours and sticking with my pre surgery food intake.

On the surgery front, I will fly out to NC in 23 days! I think that for us older folk ( i am 57) the decision to have the surgery is not as challenging for we know the other option is worse due to either existing or impending health issues. The risk of surgery is nothing compared to the very signficant issues that are worsening--arthritis, back and foot pain, constant fatigue and weakness, bum knee.

Plus the risk of diabetes and heart disease are not theoretical as they can be for a thirty year old but quite real and imminent. I see the surgery as a welcome way out of the downward spiral my life has been in for years. I have even given myself many dope slaps for not getting on the ball sooner. What was I thinking? I could have been a contender!

alex