When I started this journey, my ultimate goal was to be in the best shape I could be by the time I turned 50.

Today is that day. :wub:

Tangibly, I hardly resemble the person who started this journey. People who have not seen me in awhile regularly walk right past, not recognising me. This has on occasions been very funny, and on others, not so nice as people have reacted in ways that are surprisingly negative. One thing that has come up more than once is the immediate assumption that I've been very ill, or worse, that I've got something terminal. I've chosen not to talk about having surgery for a variety of reasons, and my stock answer to "What have you done?!" has become, "I eat a lot less and exercise a lot more."

Intangibly, I know myself to be in a very different space internally than I was a year ago. Having the surgery did not change some of the serious issues that come with having gained so much weight and those don't go away with the weight. I've had to work hard to reprogram the default software. Old habits die very hard, and when mindlessness returns as a result of stress, or life events, the response is destructive. I've been five weeks at the same weight, but a week of no exercise and mindless grazing caused a small weight gain... panic!! It was a short, sharp, and needful lesson on the need for me to continue to care for ME. No matter how stressful work gets, or what life events happen, if I don't choose to take care of myself no matter what, all this work will be for nothing.

Not gonna let that happen. Did some serious self care, bought a treadmill so I could run again (it's too hot outside) and went through my journal of the past year, reminding myself of the affirmations I'd found helpful, of the progress I'd made, and of the reasons I have made this choice.

So, today I celebrate 50 years... losing 86 pounds... ...regularly running 7K ...biking 20K with my husband 2 - 3 x week, and being pronounced "completely healthy" by my GP. Yay me.

If you're still working at your goals, keep on. Gather up the support you need whenever you need it, and don't give up. Celebrate the little milestones (I found Bling is perfect for celebrating every 10 pounds lost ) and ruthlessly prune your closet as you shrink out of clothes. Think in possibilities and make plans for a future that is different than your present.

I know I need goals, and I plan to run a 10K race with my daughter in August. But first, I'm going to go river rafting in Bosnia to mark the achievements of the past year.

Hopefully, I won't drown.