i have to get this off my chest - part 6
The following day I woke up and began getting ready for work, as I sat on the side of my bed pulling on my stockings he came into the room and I turned to
him and said "I want a divorce. I no longer wish to be married to you, I have been wasting my time." he was so shocked, he didnt know what to say! I left
for work, I dont recall crying even ONE tear! If anything I felt a huge weight lift off from me. I began thinking about my children and how the last thing I
wanted was for them to have a split home. I also worked out everything I wanted to tell Steve when I returned home that night.
When I got home I waited to talk to Steve until after the kids were in bed. I sat him down and told him I understood he had been out of work for a while and
he was in no position to move out. Given the situation (our children having special needs ect) I thought it was best that we kept things the way they were
for the time being. I explained to him that he would have to start paying his own way through life, he needed to get a job and soon! I expected him to pay
$150 a month for a roof over his head, and food in his belly. I would take care of the rest.
He didnt have much choice but to agree with me. The next month and a half he sat around and played video games, I only ever got $50 from him during that
time. I had slowly been getting very close to a male friend of mine. He was recently coming out of a divorce and we were helping each other along the way.
Months went by and against my better judgement my friend and I beame closer and closer, to a romantic point. Everyone around us said to be careful as it was
just a rebound thing. Steve still lived with me and there were many nights he would stand at the foot of my bed carrying on until 2 or 3 AM. I did not keep
anything from him, so when I began getting involved with my friend (Don) I was sure to let him know.
Any time I would hang out with Don I was always very careful not to let it get in the way of my time with my kids. So I would see him for a very short time
after work or a longer time once my kids were in bed sleeping. He was very understanding when it came to my children, he understood nothing came before
them. I did eventually make plans to go to dinner with Don when one of my kids had fallen sick. I made arrangements then for Don to come visit me at the
house, Steve would leave, Don would come after the kids were in bed. Steve surprisingly was alright with most everything until it was a problem for him (ex:
when he needed money for cigarettes ect).
When Don was around I relaized Steve was silent! How nice that was. So once I felt comfortable enough I allowed Don to meet my kids, and eventually he began
coming around more and more often. I would make up excuses for him to come or to stay longer since whenever he was around it was peaceful! I went to my
landlord and explained to him that I have asked Steve to move out, asked him to get a job, asked him to help out with money around the house and he has done
nothing but fight with me. I got all my options from my landlord and they didnt look great. Basically he said Stve could leave on his own, or the landlord
would have to evict all of us! So I asked my landlord what he thought about another person moving in, he said it was fine as long as there was no fighting.
I explained to Steve that Don and I were pretty serious and I was going to have him move in. I gave Steve a move in date and told him if he didnt like it,
he should move out! So on move in day you know what Steve did? Helped move Don in!! He insisted he wasnt going anywhere and any time now I would change my
mind and see what I was throwing away! So now here I am living with my ex husband, my children and my new boyfriend! Things, as messed up as that seems were
actually really decent as long as Don was home. Whenever Don was at work and Steve and I were alone he would start fighting with me. One time he started
fight with me he was really loud, very mean, and he was in my face, grabbing my arms things that were threatening. My oldest son (who was 8 at this time)
saw it and he went out the back door and rode his bike up the road to the landlord's house and told him his dad was being very mean to me. I hate to think
that this action may have saved lives, but in reality - this action may have saved lives. Within a few minutes my landlord was knocking at the door, this
made Steve let go of me and get away from me. My landlord told him he had 7 days to leave or else he was putting the whole lot of us on the street!
Steve made arrangements to live with his mom, he was out 3 or 4 days after this threat by my landlord. I liked that he was at his mothers house, I felt at
ease sending my kids to visit. He would take Trevor on Friday night and keep him right through until Sun afternoon and the twins he would come pick up on
Sat, drop off Sat night and get them again on Sun. It really was a good arrangement that we had.
Once I had Steve move out I had to put the kids in daycare whenever I was working, this was expensive! So I sat Steve down once he got a job and I told him
I was not asking for child support, just that he paid half of the daycare fees. total was $300 a month! He agreed that that was reasonable. A week later he
gave me $125 and that was the last money I saw from him until much much later.
I am going to stop at this point for today, there is still more to tell about my journey with my ex-husband. Even to this day (literally, I have pressed
charges against him and he is to appear in front of a judge tomorrow, May 14th) I intend to finish off my story within the next day or so I didnt write at
all this weekend with it being mother's day but I think I can wrap this whole thing up within the next few days. I was nervous telling my story, there was a
lot of horrible things I have been through but my reason for telling it has shown through all of that and helped me get it all out! More to come!
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