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i have to get this off my chest - part 6

reenalee

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The following day I woke up and began getting ready for work, as I sat on the side of my bed pulling on my stockings he came into the room and I turned to

 

him and said "I want a divorce. I no longer wish to be married to you, I have been wasting my time." he was so shocked, he didnt know what to say! I left

 

for work, I dont recall crying even ONE tear! If anything I felt a huge weight lift off from me. I began thinking about my children and how the last thing I

 

wanted was for them to have a split home. I also worked out everything I wanted to tell Steve when I returned home that night.

 

 

When I got home I waited to talk to Steve until after the kids were in bed. I sat him down and told him I understood he had been out of work for a while and

 

he was in no position to move out. Given the situation (our children having special needs ect) I thought it was best that we kept things the way they were

 

for the time being. I explained to him that he would have to start paying his own way through life, he needed to get a job and soon! I expected him to pay

 

$150 a month for a roof over his head, and food in his belly. I would take care of the rest.

 

 

He didnt have much choice but to agree with me. The next month and a half he sat around and played video games, I only ever got $50 from him during that

 

time. I had slowly been getting very close to a male friend of mine. He was recently coming out of a divorce and we were helping each other along the way.

 

Months went by and against my better judgement my friend and I beame closer and closer, to a romantic point. Everyone around us said to be careful as it was

 

just a rebound thing. Steve still lived with me and there were many nights he would stand at the foot of my bed carrying on until 2 or 3 AM. I did not keep

 

anything from him, so when I began getting involved with my friend (Don) I was sure to let him know.

 

 

Any time I would hang out with Don I was always very careful not to let it get in the way of my time with my kids. So I would see him for a very short time

 

after work or a longer time once my kids were in bed sleeping. He was very understanding when it came to my children, he understood nothing came before

 

them. I did eventually make plans to go to dinner with Don when one of my kids had fallen sick. I made arrangements then for Don to come visit me at the

 

house, Steve would leave, Don would come after the kids were in bed. Steve surprisingly was alright with most everything until it was a problem for him (ex:

 

when he needed money for cigarettes ect).

 

 

When Don was around I relaized Steve was silent! How nice that was. So once I felt comfortable enough I allowed Don to meet my kids, and eventually he began

 

coming around more and more often. I would make up excuses for him to come or to stay longer since whenever he was around it was peaceful! I went to my

 

landlord and explained to him that I have asked Steve to move out, asked him to get a job, asked him to help out with money around the house and he has done

 

nothing but fight with me. I got all my options from my landlord and they didnt look great. Basically he said Stve could leave on his own, or the landlord

 

would have to evict all of us! So I asked my landlord what he thought about another person moving in, he said it was fine as long as there was no fighting.

 

 

I explained to Steve that Don and I were pretty serious and I was going to have him move in. I gave Steve a move in date and told him if he didnt like it,

 

he should move out! So on move in day you know what Steve did? Helped move Don in!! He insisted he wasnt going anywhere and any time now I would change my

 

mind and see what I was throwing away! So now here I am living with my ex husband, my children and my new boyfriend! Things, as messed up as that seems were

 

actually really decent as long as Don was home. Whenever Don was at work and Steve and I were alone he would start fighting with me. One time he started

 

fight with me he was really loud, very mean, and he was in my face, grabbing my arms things that were threatening. My oldest son (who was 8 at this time)

 

saw it and he went out the back door and rode his bike up the road to the landlord's house and told him his dad was being very mean to me. I hate to think

 

that this action may have saved lives, but in reality - this action may have saved lives. Within a few minutes my landlord was knocking at the door, this

 

made Steve let go of me and get away from me. My landlord told him he had 7 days to leave or else he was putting the whole lot of us on the street!

 

 

Steve made arrangements to live with his mom, he was out 3 or 4 days after this threat by my landlord. I liked that he was at his mothers house, I felt at

 

ease sending my kids to visit. He would take Trevor on Friday night and keep him right through until Sun afternoon and the twins he would come pick up on

 

Sat, drop off Sat night and get them again on Sun. It really was a good arrangement that we had.

 

 

Once I had Steve move out I had to put the kids in daycare whenever I was working, this was expensive! So I sat Steve down once he got a job and I told him

 

I was not asking for child support, just that he paid half of the daycare fees. total was $300 a month! He agreed that that was reasonable. A week later he

 

gave me $125 and that was the last money I saw from him until much much later.

 

 

I am going to stop at this point for today, there is still more to tell about my journey with my ex-husband. Even to this day (literally, I have pressed

 

charges against him and he is to appear in front of a judge tomorrow, May 14th) I intend to finish off my story within the next day or so I didnt write at

 

all this weekend with it being mother's day but I think I can wrap this whole thing up within the next few days. I was nervous telling my story, there was a

 

lot of horrible things I have been through but my reason for telling it has shown through all of that and helped me get it all out! More to come!



8 Comments


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Blogs are here for that reason - we don't have to make a blog entry specifically about weight loss or anything else. A blog is where you post your personal thoughts, experiences, or anything else you want to post.

Sometimes sharing your feelings is the only way you can free yourself from the "drama". That saying about how the truth will set you free - well it's true.

I'm following this blog because I'm interested. Not everyone will be interested. The solution is to just not read it if the "drama" bothers you or doesn't fit your ideas regarding relevant posts.

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WHAT DOES ALL OF THIS DRAMA HAVE TO DO WITH WEIGHT LOSS?

all this "drama" is what lead me to where I am, and helped me find WHO I am. I have met a few different people through this site who are in the same boat (if not worse) as I was in. I hope that this story (or DRAMA as you put it) will inspire those people who are hurt, lost and who feel forgotten find who and WHAT they are! I can only pray that my "DRAMA" will lead someone else who is being abused and misused to realize they don't have to live that way, they too can be victorious! They can make the changes that need to be made. My weight loss journey began the minute I realized me and my children deserved better! Im sorry if you (mokee) don't understand that, but it's my choice to write it just as it's your choice to read it...

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Reenalee, I am so sorry you have been through all of this. I support you speaking your mind here on any topic you need.

And I think this does have to do with weight loss... the emotional weight off your shoulders as you escaped this horrible abuse! Not all weight is physical...

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I urge you to keep writing! someone may be inspired to change their life once they've read your story. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

P.S.- if any of you think this is "drama" don't continue to click on her posts. VST isn't forcing you to read this.

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i agree, this forum is about support, and we are all like-minded individuals who have all had problems in our lives which have led us to seek surgery, we dont just wake up and think "you know what today im going to get 3/4 of my stomach removed!!" what a totally ignorant comment by mokee.. i expect comments like this on facebook not on a forum which is designed to help and support each other.

I am on another website which is to support partners who have been sexually abused as children (my husband was by his mum) and I often go off at a tangent on that site, but everyone knows you dont just have to discuss the abuse you can talk about anything, and I do!!! so reenalee keep posting we are listening and those that have no comprehension of that should not click on your blog!!

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