Ok this week has been a doozy. I have been so busy with life and then on top of that trying to get all this pre-op appointments behind me. I had to cancel my last f/u with my psy to go to a NUT appt. I couldn't do both so I had to make a choice. Damn work! Anyway it is how it goes sometimes. So now I am rescheduled on June 5th! Really that feels like a lifetime away. I will never get a surgery date!

I have had hurdle after hurdle to get this surgery and it has me questioning my choice again. I know this is right but then there is this little voice saying maybe all this is a sign. (Damn little voice...bet it's my stomach! I have been depriving it of junk and refined sugar!) Plus at my psy computer test the Dr. said, "You arent that big. I can't believe you are considering surgery. Yes on paper you are obese but you carry it well."(thanks I guess but I don't feel that way and my joints and lungs don't like it either) Then again yesterday the NUT said, "Are you sure you can't lose the weight without surgery you don't have too much to lose. Surgery is a lifetime change. Most of our patients are 350+. " Um hello people my BMI is 41 I need to lose a little over 100 pounds to be within a normal BMI. Plus if I keep on my track I will be one of those patients in 10 years! I thought after being apporved by insurance the hurdles would stop. But they don't.

So I thought I made peace with this little voice. Then today my PCP office called and informed me their lab no longer accepts Quest and I would have to pay 350.00 up front or go get the blood work done at Quest. The nearest Quest is 45 minutes away. Really?! If I was just honest with my employer I could get my labs and EKG done here. So I am making this so much harder on myself and the voice is back. I really don't want to have to go to my boss and admit that while my gallbladder is being removed so is 80% of my stomach and that is why I am having so many appts. I work at a drs office so I am sure they are on to me. Gallbladder surgery doesn't require all I have gone through. I feel like I am being pushed to my limit. I have had atleast 1 appt every week for over a month now and I feel like they are all saying the same thing. Madness! Plus the co-pays and PTO!

On the bright side I have surprisingly not "cheated" on my low-carb diet. I have had to talk myself out of eating a candy bar a few times! One was last night I had it unwrapped and everything. I threw it away then looked at it in the trash (almost a Senfield moment). But I conquered! woohoo!

Anyway...I am not the only one who is going through this and I have to remember that. It will all be ok...right? So how did y'all deal with the stress leading up to surgery? How did you handle the appts. and work with your boss?

TGIfreakingF!