For a while I slept in my son's room on the floor at night while druing the day I worked on trying to repair my marriage. We talked to a pastor from our

church, Steve worked on his drinking problems, began going to rehab. Things really started looking better. He still hadnt settled everything with the

courts, the events happened so close together but in different towns so they were fighting over which town to actually have the case in. Meanwhile Steve

returned home from court one night saying that he got a conditional license out of the deal. This was great because this allowed him to go back to work at

the airport!

He used his sisters car to go to work, he and I had been working very hard on our relationship and I began sleeping in the same room as him again. Shortly

after he went back to work at the airport I found out I was pregnant. We were excited, we wanted another baby so this was a great thing. The way I saw it,

Steve was at his best right after the first baby so a second baby might snap things back in place.

It was a week after we told everyone that we were pregnant I woke up in the morning with cramps, I went to the bathroom and I was spotting slightly. I went

to the doctors right away. The doctor did some blood work and explained that I needed to come back on Mon for more bloodwork, it was too early for them to

do anything but wait. (This was on a Thurs.)

That whole weekend was horrible, I spent most of the time crying, the rest of the time reading and researching. My son and I were home alone, I was online

reading about miscarriages and my son was about 3 feet from me in a rocking chair watching veggie tales on tv. He went to lean forward to get his sippy cup

that was on the stand in front of him, his legs were too short to reach the floor and the chair toppled over slaming his head into the stand! He didnt cry

or anything. I grabbed the chair and pulled it back and he stood up turned to me, his eye rolled back in his head and he like twisted and fell to the floor!

I went into a total panic, I first called my sister... I don't know why I called her and not 911 I guess out of panic. She called 911 and within 5 minutes

there were EMT's at my house. One tending to my son the other tending to me.

We went to the ER and he was all checked out turned out to be just fine! Thank God! When Steve returned to work he ended up being fired for leaving work

without telling anyone! He fought this and won.

Things were alright, not good, not great but they were okay. At this point in my life I was asking God why. Why would He allow all of this to happen to

someone like me. I was a good person, good heart, I followed Him daily. It didnt seem fair.

That was when my mother called me crying, she had been to the doctors and after testing and many appointments they had determined she had breast cancer! To

shorten some of this story I wrap this 3 year struggle up in a quick paragraph. She had a lumpectomy, only to have many infections that followed, one

putting her in the hospital for 2 weeks. so her doctor suggested that she undergo a mastecomy. When this was decided she asked that they not leave extra

skin for reconstructive surgery because she didnt want to do that. Well they left the skin any way. So she went ahead and did reconstructive surgery. She

chose to do the free tram option, using her own body material to make the new breast. This was a very long recovery and not without complications. All of

these troubles with my mom stretched out over a year and a half.

Steve was supportive during this time, he was still drinking and still fighting with me from time to time. In December I was served with papers from my

landlord saying we were evicted and to appear in court just before Christmas. I had no idea that we owed on rent! Apparently we hadnt paid our rent in

almost a year!!! So my parents took us in.

My parents lived in a 6 bedroom old farmhouse. We lived upstairs in this house. I set up on bedroom as a livingroom, one as a bedroom for my son and one as

a bedroom for us. The rest of the rooms upstairs were used as storage. When we first moved into my parents Steve worked for the airport, and shortly after

there was an accident with a plane that was being moved from one hanger to another. The chalks that were used to keep the planes from moving once they were

parked were missing from a plane in the hanger. This caused over 1.7 million dollars worth of damage. At which point the company my husband worked for

started an investigation, during this investigation they came to realize he had been lying this whole time about the judge giving him a conditional license!

He still had no license!! So to say the least he was fired.

This lead him to drinking even more often. Because we were not supportive of his drinking he would sneak it. He would borrow money from his mom and tell her

it was for food or something for our son then he would go and buy a 30pk and hide it in the woods. He eventually got a job as a line cook at this place down

the road. Instead of going to work he would just go to the store, buy beer and hang out in the woods his whole shift drinking. He would go to AA meetings

and come back drunk! It was unreal.

Sorry I have a doctor appointment... to be continued.....