Last night I wrote a whole long blog and as I went to post it there was an error and it was lost! Today I have a completely different train of thought so I

am going to go with that.

I am feeling lead to share about my previous marriage, I have had a few people email me about my story and tell me some of theirs and I really feel that my

story may help others get motivated to change the things they need to change in their own life. This story will be in many parts, if I were to sit here and

type the whole thing in one blog it would take days!

When I was 14 years old I met a boy who we will call Steve. Steve had the bad boy image, he had long hair, kind of a grunge look, very rebellious! He was 17

years old, but that was fine with me, most of the boys I dated were older. I spent the whole summer of 1995 hanging out with him, he was great! Towards the

end of the summer I found out he liked to smoke pot, and drop acid. I am totally against drug use of all kind, so I told him if that was the way he rolled I

had to take a different road. We agreed that I had to take a different road. We remained friends.

About 7 months went by since I broke things off with him, I had a new boyfriend that I was hanging around with. Steve was jealous of this and he agreed to

change his ways for me. Being that I was a very young girl, this impressed me that he was willing to change for ME?! So I fell for it. In the time we were

apart he had tried to kill himself when he was high, he took a jack knife to his arm, he cut himself to the bone! like a 5 inch long cut down his forearm,

right to the bone. I lead him to church and got him saved. He was a changed man! Very respectful, looked out for me all the time, plus he had a car so he

was able to come over whenever I wanted him to. This was nice, I fell hard and fast for him. He was amazing!

In March of 1997 my sister passed away due to a drinking and driving accident, worst time of my life! Steve was there for me, when every other friend didn't

know what to say, his arms were open wide and he was just there for me. This bonded me to him like nothing else, I knew then I would walk through hell's

fires for this man. In 1999 I was finishing up high school so I had a part time job at a gas station. I was working closing shift and waiting for Steve to

come pick me up from work when I got a phone call from a lady up the street she said my boyfriend had asked her to call me, he had been in a bad car

accident and was being taken to the hospital.

My co-worker took me to the accident so I could go with him. A friend of mine worked for the fire dept and he pulled me aside, he said that Steve wasn't in

too bad of shape but he had been drinking, there were open containers all over the road! Steve hit and drove up a telephone pole, flipped his car end over

end! He had to have 10 stitches in his head, 15 in his hand other than that he was just sore!

In may 2000 he and I got married. I was the only one working, he had lost his job just before we got married. He had a history of losing work, but he was

always pretty good at finding work right after. In June of 2000 I found out I was pregnant! I stopped working sometime in Aug, I had so many little

complications that I was in and out of the doctors all the time and it was only a matter of time before they were going to let me go any way. Steve got a

job working at the airport, he was working on the grounds crew, he would park airplanes and re-fuel them and such. He really enjoyed his job.

Everything went well for us until I was about 7 months pregnant, Steve started hanging out with some of our neighbors who were less than decent. He would go

there to borrow a tool, return 4 hours later drunk and high! One night he did this, he came back home. He stumbled through the house, flopped on the couch

and rested his elbows on his knees, he leaned his head on his hands and just started to drool... all over my floor! He began to vomit but without force, it

was the most disturbing thing I had seen to this point. This went on for hours, he eventually passed out. The next day I woke him up nice and early, I had

him help me dump every ounce of liquor, beer, and wine we had down the drain. I declared that unless it were a holiday there would be no more drinking!

It worked! There was no drinking, he didn't come home drunk from the neighbors house, in fact he rarely visited them after that. It was good! I had my son

on Feb 15th 2001, he was healthy, I was healthy and life at this time, was PERFECT!

I am going to stop there for now, I need to get some housework done and set the baby down for his nap then I will return and try and get some more of this

story out. I am sorry it's so long, but I feel in order for you to understand why I did what I did you really need to know the smaller details before I

reveal the larger ones.

To be continued......